Merry Crisis

[coalcube]

On the 7^th night of Hanukkah my vindictive author gave to me....

Madness Opens: Mon 26 Dec
Author Reveals: Sun Jan 1

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Comments

[(Anonymous)]

i claim this post in the name of poop

[(Anonymous)]

The ship of coal was badly pooped. A wave of wank broke over the stern of the post, causing it to capsize.

[(Anonymous)]

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for all the links, coalcube!

Anyone writing for the Madness collection?

[(Anonymous)]

Talk about it ITT.

Re: Anyone writing for the Madness collection?

[(Anonymous)]

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletidemadness2022/profile

ouch my diamond shoes

[(Anonymous)]

every year I love my fic and every year it is like pulling teeth to say so. how is commenting so hard why am I so bad at receiving presents

Re: ouch my diamond shoes

[(Anonymous)]

This year I'm so tired that I'm giving myself a lot more hours after my initial "AHHHHH" comment.

Thoughts?

[(Anonymous)]

What's good? What's bad?

Re: Thoughts?

[(Anonymous)]

I liked both of the interactive fiction fics in the collection this year.

[(Anonymous)]

Looks like I have to eat my hat because the mods did something about high school racism after all

[(Anonymous)]

Oh?

!Wank Recap!

[(Anonymous)]

1. Racist High School AU Sioux War RPF

A coalie discovers that someone has written a high school football AU of a fairly normal, if slightly awkward, Sioux War historical RPF request made by yossarian22, a new/blank account. Yossarian22's request noticeably mentions nothing about setting AU. Increasingly heated discussion/wank spreads to FFA as people read the fic and notice that it not only generally equates genocide to high school sports but specifically analogizes a real woman's abduction and rape to sassy flirting.

Someone claiming to be the author appears on FFA and coal claiming that Yossarian22 is their husband, actually, who they ran all of this nonsense past, and he says he likes it and actually wanted an AU all along. Authoranon claims that they convinced their husband, who has no experience in fandom or fanfic, to sign up for yuletide because they thought writing together would be romantic. They repeatedly double down on the fic not being racist because they tried to portray characters "positively" and are roundly hated by coalies and FFAnons alike.

A FFA anon claims that they recognize Authoranon as ao3 user Gheyn from pre-yuletide discussion in a semi-private discord in which Gheyn allegedly talked about getting her husband to sign up for the first time for this specific fandom.

FFA mods freeze the subthread in which Authoranon appeared.

Yuletide mods eventually set the fic itself to pending status.

Coal thread: https://coaltide.dreamwidth.org/6150.html?thread=12992006#cmt12992006
FFA thread: https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/577493.html?thread=3525112789#cmt3525112789

2. Is Jennifer's Body unwanted?

FFA'ers speculate at length over whether a writer for Jennifer's Body knows that DNW stands for Do Not Want, as they appear to have actively aimed to write all of the recip's DNWs in one fic.

FFA thread:
https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/577493.html?thread=3524883413#cmt3524883413

3. Baby's First American Girl Fanfic?

Coal discovers a hot steaming mess of an American Girl fanfic where the multiple extended authors' notes are substantially longer than the fic itself and the whole thing suffers from a general lack of coherence or spellchecking that lead to Samantha's Uncle Gard being called Uncle Garage.

Coal thread: https://coaltide.dreamwidth.org/6150.html?thread=13024774#cmt13024774
FFA thread: https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/577493.html?thread=3525270485#cmt3525270485

4. Space Trilogy Rehash Wank

A FFA nonny continues to be very aggrieved over Edonohana's Space Trilogy worldbuilding prompt and comes to aggressively eat crackers over it, accusing Edonohana of having written their own prompt for the other Space Trilogy requester.

FFA thread: https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/577493.html?thread=3525310165#cmt3525310165


5. Baldur's Gate rejection/unrejection comment mini-wank
Coal notices that a Baldur's gate fic has been rejected, then reclaimed by a recipient who left multiple weird, wanky comments on it.

Coal thread: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2022/works/43686921

Re: !Wank Recap!

[(Anonymous)]

The last one should be https://coaltide.dreamwidth.org/6150.html?thread=13009670#cmt13009670 in case the recip deletes those comments

Dear reader who bookmarked my fic in a canon so small I genuinely thought only my recip would read,

[(Anonymous)]

please leave a comment, I'm dying of thirst

Re: Dear reader who bookmarked my fic in a canon so small I genuinely thought only my recip would re

[(Anonymous)]

Big mood.

Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

I got assigned a friend and wrote a story I thought she’d like. She doesn’t, and doesn’t realize the author is on the discord where she’s expressing disappointment/criticism. Do I perma-anon this? Do I warn her I wrote it? This is weird, uncomfortable situation, but it’s going to be worse after reveals.

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

I would orphan it to avoid the conversation, tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

who got butts for yuletide

[(Anonymous)]

I really enjoyed what I got. I'm just very greedy and wish I had gotten treats for some of my other fandoms, too.

Ratio navelgazing

[(Anonymous)]

I am sooo close to 1:1 hit:kudos . Hooray!

I have almost no hits. Boo!

Re: Ratio navelgazing

[(Anonymous)]

Why is that a good thing? That would mean for certain that nobody is coming back to read your fic more than once, and that’s just sad.

[(Anonymous)]

I know I'm being salty AF but I'm still annoyed that the multiple people I beta'd for didn't acknowledge me. Not even a "thanks to my beta." Nothing.

[(Anonymous)]

Aren’t you supposed not to until after reveals?

[(Anonymous)]

there's something so tasteless about seeing vultures circling for wank in namespace

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, but you knew, saying that, we'd want to know where, and your bait is kind of... recursive? illustrative of the very same thing?

[(Anonymous)]

Yuletide was so quiet this year. Until now!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty sure nobody had this particular bonanza on their bingo cards.

[(Anonymous)]

0 hits on my fic :'(

[(Anonymous)]

It’s still Christmas!

[(Anonymous)]

HOW do people comment on a fic without editing their comment multiple times?!?!?! I need a “preview” button; like yesterday. To my author: I’m so sorry.

[(Anonymous)]

Google Doc before c/ping the final product in.

Emergency Pinch Hit

[(Anonymous)]

Just went out.

Re: Emergency Pinch Hit

[(Anonymous)]

Does anyone know deets about what happened here?

Opinion

[(Anonymous)]

This is a horrible Yuletide year. Wanky and lean. Everybody should have just written about butts instead.

(‿!‿) ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

Madness

[(Anonymous)]

What's good? What's hilaribad?

Re: Madness

[(Anonymous)]

The Sting fic is so good it stings.

Challenge:

[(Anonymous)]

Sort the works by lowest hit, comment, or kudos count per your personal taste. Find a fandom you know and give a comment to a starving author.

Re: Challenge:

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks ever so for the untagged heavily implied sexual assault on a trans character, dragonriders of pern author

[(Anonymous)]

Well fuck, that sucks like a black hole in a hoover factory, anon

porn recs

[(Anonymous)]

I've exhausted all the porn in fandoms I know, so let's rec some porn in the rest of the sin bucket

Re: porn recs

[(Anonymous)]

Are there even that many Explicit fics? Just filter for that.

3 Truths, 1 Lie

[(Anonymous)]

You know the drill. 3 fics you didn't write, plus one you did. (Or that you didn't, I can't control you.) Coalies give their thoughts.

Re: 3 Truths, 1 Lie - Wayne Family Adventures

[(Anonymous)]

living in a material world
https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2022/works/43822368
Stephanie Brown & Duke Thomas, G, 1.1k

World's Okayest Detective
https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2022/works/43798425
Bruce Wayne, G, 2.6k

Katie, Bar the Door
https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2022/works/43732905
Duke Thomas & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, T, 2.9k

If I'm Shining Everybody Gonna Shine
https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2022/works/43628184
Duke Thomas, G, 3.9k

Five Minute Fandom Recs

[(Anonymous)]

I have sadly already exhausted the fandoms I know. What’s good in the easy to consume fandom section?

Re: Five Minute Fandom Recs

[(Anonymous)]

Měl jsem psa a kočku by Karel Čapek.