coaltide | Merry Crisis

Entry tags:

2022

Merry Crisis

On the 7^th night of Hanukkah my vindictive author gave to me....

yuletide |

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nope. If it's a healthy friendship, you'll get past the awkward. Keeping this to yourself will likely breed unhappiness and resentment. You meant well, but even when we're writing for someone we know, we don't always get it right.

There's no reason to embarrass the friend by being open about it when you can just orphan it and accept the meaning well part quietly on your own.

Maybe you're not the type of person who would end up ruminating/stewing on it endlessly if you didn't confront the situation head-on. Maybe the OP isn't. For me, though, I'd basically HAVE to say something, or accept that I'd be losing the friendship six months to a year from now.

Or maybe the embarrassment would teach her a lesson.

DC

It might very well teach her a lesson, but knowing the friend sat there letting her make a fool of herself (no help needed there, but) will kill the friendship. Up to OP what they want.

This person ought to be on thin ice for their lack of consideration for their fic writer potentially seeing their criticism they’re making in an inappropriate space; if they can somehow narcissistically throw a friendship-ending “YOU embarrassed ME” fit over a friend’s awkward silence during a sticky situation they created, they’re worth letting go.

We all make mistakes. The recip is unintentionally making their friend feel bad, right now. If the friend says nothing and lets the fic go live with their name on it without saying something, they're making the recip feel embarrassed on purpose. No, the recip shouldn't be complaining about their gift in a public or semi-public space, but at the same time, the recip doesn't fucking know the entire situation right now, either. The best way to approach it is for the author to get ahead of it in a matter-of-fact fashion, and then if the friend blows up the friendship over it, THEN they're worth letting go.

The recip is unintentionally making their friend feel bad, right now.

Lol what.

The recip-friend doesn't intend to make the writer-friend feel bad by complaining because they don't know it was the writer-friend who wrote it, but nevertheless the complaining is making the writer-friend feel bad. What's lolwhat about that?

Sorry, I read you wrong. I got the two switched around.

No worries, pretty sure I got everyone switched around while I was talking, too.

Just wow.

Assuming they’re not very stupid the recipient knows they’re talking shit about the fic they received in a place where the author could see it. That’s the situation and the wronged friend doesn’t have to be the bigger person by explaining the obvious possibility to them.

How are they going to know the friend saw their complaints?

It sounded like they're all part of the same small-ish discord.

I was assuming this was the yuletide discord but I’m guessing this type of talk really wouldn’t fly there?

The mods are fairly good at nipping that kind of thing in the bud. Also, I've been on there since reveals, and unless it happened in one of the few channels I've got muted, I haven't seen it. It could be in EAD or one of the other related exchange servers

Not in EAD or FFA, either. I would guess a smaller discord, too.

I mean, if I were the recip in this situation, seeing the author's name revealed would result in immediate HORROR as I recalled everything I'd said in a space we shared.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Merry Crisis

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation

Re: Awkward situation