Merry Crisis

[coalcube]

On the 7^th night of Hanukkah my vindictive author gave to me....

Madness Opens: Mon 26 Dec
Author Reveals: Sun Jan 1

Mini-Challenges:
Yuleporn| Crueltide | Queering The Tide | Transtide
Two for One | Seasons Treatings | IF | Wrapping Paper | Yumadrin 
 

yuletide  | yuletide_admin 
2022 Collection | 2022 Madness
2022 App (bonus + challenges) | Letter Post

Flat / Recent | Top-Level (Last) | FAQ | Search

Comments

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

DC

Whether the recipient's reaction is based in anything logical right now, finding out it's by a friend is not going to make her feel better about it or, crucially, more likely to re-evaluate her criticisms.

Where are you getting this? If this happened to me and it turned out the fic I disliked was by a friend, I would for sure be re-evaluating my criticisms! Then again I'm not enough of an asshole to complain about my fic in public, so maybe I can't generalize here.

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

CYRT

Then again I'm not enough of an asshole to complain about my fic in public, so maybe I can't generalize here.

That's exactly what I mean, though. When someone is already upset enough to do that, they aren't going to take it well if you add embarrassment to the mix. They might in the long run but definitely not in the short.

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

NC. Given human nature, it's possible the recip would displace their embarrassment by being outraged that the thread OP didn't tell them sooner.

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Exactly. Is it fair? No. Would it be OP's fault? Also no. But it's still a situation where it might be wiser in the long run to take a different tack.

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is this isn’t like, “I wish you’d told me sooner that you hate when I make jokes about that seemingly harmless thing you’re actually sensitive about, now I feel unnecessarily bad about it.” It treads more into “I treat everyone except my clique rudely, so you should have tipped me off that it was you.” If a person did this and didn’t seem wholly apologetic at least in the long run without me leading them to the apology on a red carpet, it would seem like they only gave a shit because it threatened the friendship.

Re: Awkward situation

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, obviously? If they cared about hurting the feelings of Rand O. Author, they wouldn't be bitching about their gift in semi-public! Of course they only care because it's their friend!

But OP now knows they're the sort of person who bitches about gifts in semi-public and still wants to preserve the friendship, so the cliqueyness is priced in.