*Notices Yuletide*

[coalcube]

OwO What's This?

Monday 15 to Friday 26 September: Nominations (end 9pm UTC 26 September) | Evidence Post | RPF Coordination | Promo Post
Tuesday 14 to Friday 24 October: Sign-ups (end 9pm UTC 24 October)
Sunday 26 October: Assignments out (may be earlier)
Wednesday 10 December: Default deadline (9pm UTC)
Wednesday 17 December: Assignment deadline (9pm UTC)
Wednesday 24 December: Main collection works reveals (9pm UTC)
Thursday 25 December: Madness collection works reveals (9pm UTC)
Thursday 1 January: Author reveals, end of event (9pm UTC)

Mini-Challenges:

Crueltide | Femslash Festivus | Yulebuilding | Three Turtle Doves | Two for One | Yuleporn  
Family Matters | Queering the Tide | Yuletide Madness Drabble Invitational | TransTide 
Chromatic Yuletide | Unconventionyule | Wrapping Paper | Babytide | MultiLingYule 

Yuletide Discord for Hippos & Exchanges After Dark Discords for Namespace drama 18+ discussion. Google Group for PHs.

yuletide | yuletide_admin | App
2025 Collection | Tagset | Letters

Flat / Recent | Top-Level (Last) | FAQ | Search

 

Comments

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Holy shit

What did all the other mods say??

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Just read back through the channel, and it looks like one of the first people to reply to the RS mod has edited their comment to remove the identifying information ("If it's the [X/Y] fic in [Fandom], then...") so they either caught wind of all this or have been asked by someone else to edit their response.

Nobody really replied to EO directly until much later to point out that unless someone's intentionally deceiving you, it's not really a lie. The general conversation as EO was participating it was sort of just an echo-chamber of "yeah that doesn't deserve an EPH." I wasn't going to post any content that identified the recip's claims for an EPH because I wanted to protect their anonymity as much as possible, but since someone's already posted them elsewhere in the thread... well.

Here are assorted quotes from various (non-EO) mods as the conversation was unfolding. It's not comprehensive, but I tried to be representative. As you can see, there's not much pushback. I hope this settles once and for all that there wasn't just "one asshole." Quotes marked with an asterisk are from the RS mod:

Cut

- i can't believe "this person tried too hard to follow my instructions" is being claimed as a reason for an EPH. you really can't please everyone no matter what you do [note: 18 +1 emoji reacts]
- maybe they're just throwing spaghetti at the wall trying to figure out which buttons to push to get another gift
- if it was a rewording of their letter and prompts...how can it be bashing...if their prompts aren't bashing?*
- Gosh, what a shitty situation to have to deal with as a mod tbh :ghost_hug:
- i'm just like have they never gotten a gift they felt 'meh' about before?? just leave a short comment and move on*
- i really think they had a very specific idea of how they wanted it filled and it just didn't land and that’s why it feels something is off and that's when you go 'wow okay, this is something i should write on my own or commission and not request from a stranger'*
- "I was somewhat squicked by something that wasn't in my DNWs that's also close to what I requested" is, I think still not quite an eph situation
- iirc this recipient has successfully participated in multifandom events before, so I am also less inclined to be charitable in terms of event culture mismatch
- i don't want to jump straight to assuming the worst of someone just bc it seems their complaint isn't logical
- i wonder if they thought i wouldn't verify...? and would just be like 'omg so sorry, i'll put you out for eph' idk lol*

Then the discussion moved on to various DNWs mods have received over the years. Hours later, somebody replied to push back against one of EO's comments. Here's the full transcript with some names removed:

Cut

EdosianOrchids
This is suuuuch a bad faith straight up lie. There’s no way this is character bashing, it’s literally just filling their extremely detailed prompt

Mod 1 (replying 4hrs later after the conversation's moved on)
I feel like I've seen this quite a few times, and it's not a lie. It goes:
• hurt feelings
• someone made me hurt
• it must be their fault

and if the first reason doesn't make sense, the person doesn't reevaluate the overall situation. They still believe they were injured, because they feel injured. (Because if not... what if they don't deserve to feel hurt? What if they're even in the wrong? too scary.) So they decide that it was a different injury, but still an injury.
[11 positive emoji reacts]

EdosianOrchids
To me that’s still a lie, but I’ll keep in mind that others don’t feel that way

Mod 2 (server mod)
It's bad behavior and involves saying something that isn't true, but I guess my understanding of if someone is lying to me involves evaluating whether or not they know they're saying something untrue, and people who react this way generally do genuinely believe that what they're saying is true.
[5 positive emoji reacts]
I guess the distinction to me is important bc I feel different about "oh this person is deliberately misleading me" vs "oh this person needs to go handle their emotions somewhere else" haha
[11 positive emoji reacts]

EdosianOrchids
Yeah I can’t really keep going on this personally because it’s a sore spot for me to get this into the weeds of whether my word choices are the perfect ones for a situation so I’m going to mute, but I do just want to say that I’m operating from the “untrue” definition especially when it’s making accusations about others
[5 positive emoji reacts]

Mod 2 (server mod)
That's a perfectly valid definition tbh, just not necessarily the most common one. Which is part of what makes a mod server interesting!

That's really all the excerpts I think are worth posting.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

I do just want to say that I’m operating from the “untrue” definition especially when it’s making accusations about others

Stunning lack of self-awareness here.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

wow, holy shit.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks king

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, definitely I'm never ever asking for an EPH or reporting gift issues to any mod I don't personally already consider a friend at this point. Jesus.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

I'm wary because I'm sure it's not just EPH requests that get discussed in this manner. And the frustrating thing is that the RS mods are hiding behind anonymity while not extending the same confidentiality to their participants.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

These are reasonable, tbh:

- i can't believe "this person tried too hard to follow my instructions" is being claimed as a reason for an EPH. you really can't please everyone no matter what you do [note: 18 +1 emoji reacts]
- if it was a rewording of their letter and prompts...how can it be bashing...if their prompts aren't bashing?*
- i'm just like have they never gotten a gift they felt 'meh' about before?? just leave a short comment and move on*
- "I was somewhat squicked by something that wasn't in my DNWs that's also close to what I requested" is, I think still not quite an eph situation

The other comments aren't nice but I wouldn't blink seeing any of them posted here when an EPH went out on a comm.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Two of the quotes are from the mod. Please tell me you understand the difference between an anonymous rubbernecker talking shit about an EPH request and the actual mod of the exchange, who should be approaching your request with an open mind, an assumption of good faith, and a general air of tact and understanding saying those things.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

So which mod are you?

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

you think mods should be talking about participants like shitposters on an anon comm?

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

This is DM or shitpost comm material, periodt. Anyone posting this shit in public namespace should not be running dick all.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

There is a giant power differential between some fic writers gossiping on an anon comm and an actual cabal of mods shredding someone in their private Discord and it's pretty amazing you can't see that.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Even the pushback EO got is cruel to the recipient.

It goes:
• hurt feelings
• someone made me hurt
• it must be their fault

...what if they're even in the wrong? too scary.

I guess the distinction to me is important bc I feel different about "oh this person is deliberately misleading me" vs "oh this person needs to go handle their emotions somewhere else" haha

Like, I'm sorry, you guys can't be serious. Too scary? Needs to go handle their emotions somewhere else? EO getting wounded over that would be funny if my blood wasn't boiling.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, so it really is use a bunch of catty bitches talking shit about outsiders (annoying participants ugh!).

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Holy shit squared. Thanks for posting all that

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

It's definitely possible to reword something while bashing it in the process, that's how you do parody, satire or, I don't know, spitefic. I've seen it done recently with the CaitVi Kinktober wank. If the person who requested the EPH was mistaken and their claim was unfounded, great! But why do the mods hate them so much?

"i wonder if they thought i wouldn't verify...? and would just be like 'omg so sorry, i'll put you out for eph' idk lol*"

By what username(s) does the RS mod go? What other exchanges do they mod?

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

- i can't believe "this person tried too hard to follow my instructions" is being claimed as a reason for an EPH. you really can't please everyone no matter what you do [note: 18 +1 emoji reacts]

This isn't the most egregious line but I'm just stuck on those 18 +1 emoji reacts. That's the kind of echo chamber BS that would make me quit exchanges if I found out about this as the recipient (especially without knowing who the 18 mods are exactly). Or quit modding exchanges if I joined that server and discovered this kind of wanky rubbernecking about myself or a friend.

I'm really disappointed that there wasn't more pushback against this.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Mod 2 (server mod)
That's a perfectly valid definition tbh, just not necessarily the most common one. Which is part of what makes a mod server interesting!

Lmao. It sure does sound interesting.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Everyone is clearly so biased and spiteful that the recip's concerns might as well be 100% substantied for all we know, but mods were never going to look at it neutrally in the first place (although I'm not sure that's the kind of thing that would get someone an EPH anyway). The RS mod getting ghost hugs is the cherry on top.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, but I'm fairly certain I've identified the fic and going by the hits barely anyone in the discord could have read it so they're all just +1 like sheep and sledging for the fun of it.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

iirc this recipient has successfully participated in multifandom events before, so I am also less inclined to be charitable in terms of event culture mismatch
The recipient is a notoriously good exchange participant, therefore they're obviously acting in bad faith and there's nothing wrong with their gift because they've never complained about a gift before! Impeccable logic.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

EPH coalie here - I haven't followed this thread closely after confirming it was me, but I just saw this and I'd like to ask if there's anything that can be done about it? They just get to do this and then pretend nothing ever happened? Anyone who's gone through something similar? Some of you know who I am and can reach out to me on discord.

Something like this already happened to me in the past when I found out that people in my fandom (some of whom I knew and trusted) were mocking me for my ships and stuff like that. Multifandom exchanges have been a way for me to move on from that and find enjoyment in fanfiction again. Having to experience this shit all over again, from mods at that, is horrible. I frankly don't understand why these people get to know my name but I don't get to know theirs. Nor do the other participants, who have no way to avoid them.

Just posting this here and maybe coming back after my shift. I appreciate the warm comments from coalies I've seen.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

Holy shit lol. I'm relatively new to participating in and modding in the exchange scene, have never been invited to this mod cabal server, and the one time I've been name-gamed on FFA the only person who replied said I'm the only person they've EVER blocked on Discord because I'm so annoying, apparently. Needless to say, I have quite a bit of anxiety around the scene. Reading about this discourse on FFA and reading down in threaded mode for a bit now led me to believe for a second that maybe it really was just EO being an asshole, or EO being an asshole and people not responding really except to this mysterious pushback. But reading this... yeah, holy shit, no. If all those quotes before the "pushback" (and I hesitate to call it that, even, because frankly it is way too gentle in comparison to the preceding comments) are from different people, that is bad, really bad, and the pushback against EO is so gentle and forgiving that EO just looks like a brat responding the way he did, because frankly I think the server mod should have been a lot firmer!

Seriously, shame on every nonny and coalie that allegedly saw this first hand with their own eyes and thought it wasn't a big deal. They have been deluded into thinking these are normal or acceptable things to say about people, and I agree with something a coalie (or nonny, I don't remember) said about the server apparently frog boiling its members into thinking this is standard or normal behavior. I say "at my/our/your big age" a lot to describe sheer audacity I really don't expect coming from an adult, but I'm still a few years off from 30 and I know a large chunk of BFE mods are older, and I'm absolutely agape at the things said here at those big ages.

So. Dear god, I don't even know. I think I'm just going to resolve to strive to be the nicest, openest, most empathetic mod I can possibly be, in hopes of countering this nonsense even in one tiny little corner of BFE.

Re: Mod Cabal

[(Anonymous)]

i'm just like have they never gotten a gift they felt 'meh' about before?? just leave a short comment and move on

If you cannot leave a comment on your gift for whatever reason, either reject the work or give a heads-up to the mod email before the next round.

Sure, ada. Pick one.