coaltide | *Notices Yuletide*

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Yuletide Discord for Hippos & Exchanges After Dark Discords for Namespace ~~drama~~ 18+ discussion. Google Group for PHs.

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Lmao what? Either you have wildly different standards for good-faith neutral discussions of issues or this is approaching some gaslighting BS.

"you really can't please everyone no matter what you do" <- implying recip has unreasonably high standards

"maybe they're just throwing spaghetti at the wall trying to figure out which buttons to push to get another gift" <- speculating that recip calculating and greedy

"i'm just like have they never gotten a gift they felt 'meh' about before?? just leave a short comment and move on*" <- mocking them for overreacting

-"- i wonder if they thought i wouldn't verify...? and would just be like 'omg so sorry, i'll put you out for eph' idk lol*" <- if we're going by the definition of "mocking" that involves making fun of someone, I'd say the 'lol' qualifies if the tone weren't overtly clear enough already.

And so on and so forth.

Genuinely WTF are you talking about?

1 and 3 are not mocking in the context I read them in.

2 and 4 are absolutely bad faith. I don't know if they're precisely mocking but they're as unpleasant as mocking. They're implying the recipient is calculating and greedy, which is completely uncalled for.

Agreed.

CYRT

Ok, I'm not particularly hung up on which precise flavor of shit-talking someone this qualifies as. I think the overall tone of the conversation, at least from the RS mod's side, feels like it quickly moves past genuinely soliciting other mod advice and to a very "wow get a load of this unreasonable little brat of a recipient. people, amirite?" Which I would personally call mocking, IDC if that's a universal definition of mocking or not. The point is that it's unacceptable shit-talking for what looks like shits and giggles.

CYRT

Yeah, I wish I could disagree with you but I can't. I suspect I'd feel more charitable towards some participants than others, but this was absolutely people egging each other on and getting swept up in an inflated sense of importance and us vs them.

DC Yeah, I wouldn't call them mocking, I would just call them mean.

I think that is relevant in the context of this discussion: I think this mod was acting out on frustration and sharing some very bad-faith takes - about an eph request that seemed pretty innocuous even if it wasn't valid - and made a very bad choice to do that in a large discord in a privacy-violating way - and really hurt the recip and a lot of other people in this comm by doing so.

But based on what's been shared in coal I don't think anyone in the convo was being cruel just to make fun the way "mocking" implies (...the way we would've done it here). It doesn't absolve the mod or make the recip feel better but it's worth noting out the difference.

And if y'all do want to bring your issues with this discord into namespace again, focusing on the clear privacy violation rather than the very debatable "mockery" is probably much more likely to keep things focused where they need to be. Mods are gonna want a place to vent because some requests are bad, and sometimes a bunch of little things pile up and your frustration spills over just as you get hit with the last straw. But they need to not do it in a way where 100+ people can immediately find the exact person they're talking about! And they need to not share private correspondence!!!!

focusing on the clear privacy violation rather than the very debatable "mockery" is probably much more likely to keep things focused where they need to be

There is only a "focus" on the "mockery" aspect insofar as it was a casual word choice of the coalie who brought this up on the Yuletide DW, and bunch of other coalies then went on to defensively split hairs about how it was not mockery, actually, it was just being mean.

Coalie, the person who wrote to the Yuletide mods used the word "mock" in their comment to characterize what was going on. Along with a lot of other people in this discussion who've been repeating it as their "casual" way to characterize what the problem is. So yes, it's making the discussion about how cruel they were to mock instead of how unethical they were generally.

And the very few times someone has said on here that it doesn't read as mockery they're getting called liars and gaslighters and the discussion immediately derails.

So yes: people are calling it "mockery" repeatedly, and then defending that it's mockery in extremely strong terms, and acting like if you don't agree it's mockery you're saying it's okay, and that's derailing the discussion in unhelpful ways. I mean this is coal, unhelpfully derail all you want, but if you want to do something other than unhelpfully derail off coal, maybe don't do that.

Again, the only people derailing the discussion are the ones who are splitting hairs over whether it was mockery or just being an asshole.

*said in a non-derailing voice*

Notices Yuletide

Re: Mod Cabal

Re: Mod Cabal

Re: Mod Cabal

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Re: Mod Cabal

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Re: Mod Cabal

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Re: Mod Cabal

Re: Mod Cabal