Morbane's coal

[coalcube]

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January


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Comments

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Ok but your family definitely didn't encourage "say what your favorite gift was by comparing it to one you didn't like as much" right?

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

No, it's very straight-forward "So, which one did you like best?" question (and tbf, it's not like anyone ever only got two gifts, so saying which one you like best doesn't come with a logical 'and this one is the worst' conclusion).

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

It's also rude to say "you saved my day" to another author IMO. I have received comments like this, not usually in exchanges but comments like "this is the only good fic for this pairing", and it's like thanks dude, you have made it impossible for me to respond, even in cases where I kind of agree, because either I sound like a self-aggrandizing jackass or I tell you that you were just super rude about my friends who are also writing this pairing. You can be a normal and nice person whose day is ruined by a bad Yuletide gift but if you're the kind of person who will actually vocalize any variation on "my day was ruined by this bad gift" (with exceptions for specific extreme circumstances like spitefic), in my experience you just shouldn't be doing exchanges. Of course, selfish and emotionally poorly regulated people do exchanges all the time. But they shouldn't.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You can be a normal and nice person whose day is ruined by a bad Yuletide gift but if you're the kind of person who will actually vocalize any variation on "my day was ruined by this bad gift" (with exceptions for specific extreme circumstances like spitefic), in my experience you just shouldn't be doing exchanges.

Wow, no. I couldn't disagree more. If it's fine to have your gift ruined by a really bad gift, then it's also fine to vocalise that rather then silently mope and never let it on.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

No, sorry, it's not, assuming we're talking about complaining in any way that could identify the fic. When you sign up for Yuletide you are signing up to do a non-gatekept writing exchange. You always run the risk of getting a good faith, badly written fic. If that will ruin your day, and you can't keep that to yourself, you should not sign up for gift exchanges. It really is that simple.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

If you take part in a fic exchange where you write for a stranger, sometimes one of your fics will miss its mark. That's normal and to be expected. If an author can't handle that, they're not suited for fic exchanges.

Sometimes, there's disappointment on either side, and it's fine for anyone involved to express that disappointment.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

No, sorry, it's rude. It is rude to complain about a gift you receive, created for you in good faith, because it's not to your taste or even objectively poorly written. It is also rude to complain, as an author, about perceived differences in enthusiasm between your recip's comments, or your recip not leaving a comment to your taste or whatever. You don't get to jettison basic manners because you feel entitled to complain about receiving badfic.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

In your mind, is it also rude to hit the "refuse gift" button? Because I feel like this is approaching a territory where there's no other response other than to fake enjoying a gift you hate.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, if the fic makes a good-faith attempt to fulfill your request and is simply not that well-written, of course it's rude to refuse it. if you can't bring yourself to leave a bland thank-you and keep it moving then you shouldn't be doing Yuletide.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You keep presenting your personal opinion like a universal truth when it's not. It's not even an uncontroversial exchange etiquette. Many people feel like rejecting fics that you hate - good faith or not - is fine.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You don't have to fake enjoyment! You can give the standard "Thank you for writing for me" and leave it at that.

Go ahead and refuse a fic if it contains DNWs or is obviously spitefic, of course, but it's rude to refuse a gift simply for being subpar.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure you keep every well meaning shitty gift that people give you irl.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Of course not, but I also don't let them know I've gotten rid of it, which is what refusing does. It is rude. That functionality is intended to allow people to dissociate with people who've written them hurtful fic, people they've had a falling-out with, etc. It is not intended to enable childish petulance over not getting a fic precisely to your taste. And, again, we aren't even talking about refusing; we are talking about trash-talking your gift to a (presumed) third party!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, I'm sure people do keep well-meaning but awful gifts from people they care about. Setting that aside, since we're talking about gifts from strangers: Consider that there might be a difference between 1) visibly refusing a giftfic on AO3 and 2) accepting but then discreetly disposing of a gift you dislike irl.

The irl equiv of 1) is staring the giver in the eye as you throw their gift into a bin.

The fic exchange equiv of 2) is "Thank you for writing for me" and then never thinking about that giftfic again.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

No. Refusing a fic you dislike and don't want on your gifts page is fine.

I also think the passive-aggressiveness of saying "Thank you for writing for me" (and literally nothing else, unless all your comments are like this) is way, way more rude and worse than refusing a gift.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Politely thanking someone and finding a way to say something nice is the norm for receiving a gift in every English-speaking country I'm aware of. If petulant rejection and refusal to say thank you were the norm in exchanges, exchanges quite literally wouldn't work, because this behavior is rude.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

And meanwhile, there are people who consider "thank you for writing for me" ruder than no comment at all.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You can find people with so many different opinions, but that is simply not the majority view in Yuletide or any other exchange I'm ware of. It is normal, and always has been, to politely say thank you and move on.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Unless it's clearly sincere, it's rude af and it makes the recip come off petulant and passive aggressive. If they don't like the fic, they should be honest enough to reject it, not do the equivalent of "oh, sweetie, bless your heart".

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

What world do you live in where exchanges would be popular if you might catch a stray from a whiny recip at any point in time? Manners function as social lubrication, and "don't complain about a gift where the giver can hear it" is an extremely common social norm and so simple my 5-year-old has mastered it.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

What world do you live in where exchanges would be popular if you might catch a stray from a whiny recip at any point in time?

People complain about gifts or assignments on Twitter/Discord/DW all the damn time, though, and recips reject gifts they don't like, and somehow exchanges ARE popular, because most adults are well aware that sometimes a non-gatekept writing exchange will lead to bad matches.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

None of what you are talking about is equivalent to wandering into another gifter's comments to tell them your main gift ruined your day, dingdong. And there is a difference between people being rude and the behavior itself not being considered rude.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Now that you mention it, anon memes provide an ideal space where understandably disappointed recips can vent rather than silently moping, without being directly rude to their author..!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

But not in the *comments*!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Wouldn't it be funny if the same author wrote the fic that ruined Christmas and the one that saved it? Now that would be a situation.