Morbane's coal

[coalcube]

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January


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Comments

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

In your mind, is it also rude to hit the "refuse gift" button? Because I feel like this is approaching a territory where there's no other response other than to fake enjoying a gift you hate.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, if the fic makes a good-faith attempt to fulfill your request and is simply not that well-written, of course it's rude to refuse it. if you can't bring yourself to leave a bland thank-you and keep it moving then you shouldn't be doing Yuletide.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You keep presenting your personal opinion like a universal truth when it's not. It's not even an uncontroversial exchange etiquette. Many people feel like rejecting fics that you hate - good faith or not - is fine.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You don't have to fake enjoyment! You can give the standard "Thank you for writing for me" and leave it at that.

Go ahead and refuse a fic if it contains DNWs or is obviously spitefic, of course, but it's rude to refuse a gift simply for being subpar.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure you keep every well meaning shitty gift that people give you irl.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Of course not, but I also don't let them know I've gotten rid of it, which is what refusing does. It is rude. That functionality is intended to allow people to dissociate with people who've written them hurtful fic, people they've had a falling-out with, etc. It is not intended to enable childish petulance over not getting a fic precisely to your taste. And, again, we aren't even talking about refusing; we are talking about trash-talking your gift to a (presumed) third party!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You talked about refusing, which is what I'm responding to. When grandma comes over and notices that her hideous oven mitt isn't in your kitchen, guess what: she knows you threw it out. Same for fic refusal: they have to be looking to see that, it's not like refusing sends them a notification.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Scroll up, I was responding to a specific question about refusing. Your creation of false dichotomies and subsequent flights of fantasy are not my concern.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care at all about the rest of the conversation, I'm specifically talking to you and your bizarro world opinion that refusing a gift for being bad is Rude

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

... how do you not keep a gift without refusing it?

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, I'm sure people do keep well-meaning but awful gifts from people they care about. Setting that aside, since we're talking about gifts from strangers: Consider that there might be a difference between 1) visibly refusing a giftfic on AO3 and 2) accepting but then discreetly disposing of a gift you dislike irl.

The irl equiv of 1) is staring the giver in the eye as you throw their gift into a bin.

The fic exchange equiv of 2) is "Thank you for writing for me" and then never thinking about that giftfic again.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

dc

And we're back at "comparing rl gifting to fic exchanges will lead nowhere".

There is no way to "discreetly" dispose of an exchange fic. You have the opinion to openly reject it or keep it on display on your gifts page where you gave to see it all the damn time.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

keep it on display on your gifts page where you gave to see it all the damn time

Yes, rejecting a gift was created to allow people not to have to see spitefic or other viscerally upsetting content while scrolling their gifts. If you think "a fic written for me in good faith, that was also badly written" is equivalent to these, that is an emotional regulation problem. Or just sheer mind-blowing preteen entitlement.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, it's you.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

It's like keeping the ugly vase your MIL gave you on the living room shelf. It's not traumatising, but every time you look at it, your resentment for both the vase and your MIL will grow, so you give it to goodwill or throw it in the bin.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

No. Refusing a fic you dislike and don't want on your gifts page is fine.

I also think the passive-aggressiveness of saying "Thank you for writing for me" (and literally nothing else, unless all your comments are like this) is way, way more rude and worse than refusing a gift.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Politely thanking someone and finding a way to say something nice is the norm for receiving a gift in every English-speaking country I'm aware of. If petulant rejection and refusal to say thank you were the norm in exchanges, exchanges quite literally wouldn't work, because this behavior is rude.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Unless the fic hits a DNW, I always try to find something positive to say in my comment. I still reject gifts I really dislike later on because keeping them on my gifts page sucks. It would be great if AO3 gave me the option to hide it instead, but since they don't, rejecting it is the only way I won't be faced with it all the damn time.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Skill issue. Ideally people like you would be banned from exchanges altogether.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

It's youuuuuuuuuuu.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

And meanwhile, there are people who consider "thank you for writing for me" ruder than no comment at all.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You can find people with so many different opinions, but that is simply not the majority view in Yuletide or any other exchange I'm ware of. It is normal, and always has been, to politely say thank you and move on.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Unless it's clearly sincere, it's rude af and it makes the recip come off petulant and passive aggressive. If they don't like the fic, they should be honest enough to reject it, not do the equivalent of "oh, sweetie, bless your heart".

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

??? You realize you can sincerely thank someone for something even if it's not to your taste, right? You realize you can recognize the thought and effort that went into something even if the results are imperfect or even bad?

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

It's the result that counts, though, not the "thought and effort". There's no way to measure thought and effort. You fandom nemesis might write you a low-effort gift without bothering to tailor it to your requests, and if you happen to share a similar id, you'll still love it. Someone can put a lot of effort into badfic and it's still a bad gift. People aren't mindreaders, so they have to judge the fic by its own merit, but by whatever effort the writer may or may not have put into it.