Morbane's coal

[coalcube]

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January


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Comments

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

It's crazy to realize BFE nonnies are like that because y'all are perusing your gift pages constantly re-triggering yourselves. Could not be me.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Go back to FFA

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

NO U

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

CYRT

I reread gifts I like all the time. I'm not "re-triggering" myself because gifts I hate aren't on my gifts page anymore.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

My point is that your emotional attachment to your gifts page is profoundly abnormal, dipshit.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You're either too drunk or not drunk enough...

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

They're a troll.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, but either more or less alcohol might help them with that problem.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, only a troll would think it's bizarre and rude to routinely reject exchange gifts and/or trash talk the gift in another gift's comments, and to justify both these actions with "I go to my gifts page multiple times per day and experience severe emotional upset when seeing gifts I didn't love". You got me there.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Ah yes, there's the projection and misrepresentation you love so much. Touch grass!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You are so so so so so mad. :') And still rude!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

The DARVO schtick is getting old, can you try something else? Maybe you want to troll yourself?

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that someone who experiences emotional upset over not getting the perfect fic for Yuletide also thinks an anon comment is "DARVO". What a fucking freak.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Touch grass. A whole field of it.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

you are the most upset person I have ever seen

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Only a troll would misinterpret people saying "if you genuinely hate a gift, it's fine to refuse it" as "routinely reject exchange gifts and/or trash talk the gift in another gift's comments".

Or are you that person who said they disliked 90% of their gift fics? Like, I dislike maybe 10%, hate maybe 3%, but I guess if you only receive shitty gifts, you have to learn to pretend that they're not shit for your peace of mind or something.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

They're just a deeply unhappy person and their cat is on fire.

Or they're fishspeakers trying to self-harm in a new way. Who knows.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Hi fishspeakers

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

I'd ask if you often stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself but the past few days has demonstrated that there's nothing you love more...

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

https://coaltide.dreamwidth.org/7360.html?thread=14899392#cmt14899392

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

The entire argument is that both things are fine and normal to do, which yes, does imply a level of frequency that rises to the routine. Adult literacy is in crisis!

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

Outside.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

You first.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

It's fine and normal to do when you hate a gift. I worry about more than your literacy if you think people routinely reject fics they don't hate.

Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

[(Anonymous)]

No, it's not, because it's not normal to hate a gift simply for not being well written. Sorry. There is at least one nonny in this thread who has said they reject gifts, plural, which implies this happening with some degree of regularity. Again, the emotional intensity is the problem: if you find yourself viscerally hating a fic that does not contain your DNWs, is not spitefic, etc., then that is an emotional regulation issue. It is, quite literally, not mockingly, a personal problem. And it's a bad way to approach exchanges because a lot of people just aren't very good writers. If you find yourself hating fic so much that you'll resent its existence as your gift, you should remove yourself from the situation causing stress (your exchange participation).

Outside the opposite-world fishbowl of anon exchange wank, this is the normal way to think and behave. Sorry if that upsets you.