Morbane's coal

[coalcube]

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January


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Comments

Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Or just be obvious as fuck.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

There's a fic so bad for my favorite fandom that it makes me want to write something better for the recipient. 75% of it is just summarizing the plot of the show, can't get the humor right, not even an actual conversation between the characters of the pairing, and a very sudden end. Just yikes.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Please link! You still have plausible deniability if you link and later write - someone else might be equally horrified and moved to the same response.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

This fic spells the main character's last name wrong.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Lol OMG.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Please spill in case it's me so I can fix it /sob emoji

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

My gift is very well written and has introduced me to like 4 different DNWs I didn’t know I needed to DNW. I feel like it would start a fun wank on here if people were familiar enough with the fandom to go looking for it.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

That's pretty impressive.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Drop a hint in a day or two?

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

I am SO curious about what the DNWs are, I wish there was a way you could share them while still vagueing

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

I've checked all the fandoms I know and there is no good fic in any of them. There's nothing egregiously awful but just all slightly below average stuff that felt like none of the authors really tried.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Not at all my experience. I haven't finished reading yet but so far most fics are above average and several have been excellent.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not british but I know british people don't talk like that

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Link? I'm British and curious

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Are we talking "WE MUST GET THE WANK OUT OF THIS SODDING CONTRACEPTION" levels of fake British hilarity?

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Hilariously enough, the British guy in one of my canons also doesn't talk like British people talk like.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Like every Yuletide, my tiny fandom's circle jerk wrote for one another, and their fic sucks.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

No, I am not going to read your slowburn chaste romance when you KILLED OFF the heroine's sister who is also the canon LI for that guy! In like the second paragraph!

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

My fandom nemesis wrote Any Two Guys slash again.

Every. Single. Fucking. Year.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

The difference between what I think of this fic and what the recip thinks of this fic is so great that I'm wondering whether someone socked up and wrote for themselves. I've certainly read worse, but it's very bland and OOC.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

This author's predictably boring AF historical fandom h/c. Next!

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Historical romance canon. The recip is open to a modern AU. I am just not sure that this is quite the one they had in mind. While they didn't specifically DNW any of the BDSM elements they have received, gifting it was certainly a choice.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

Me: Ooooh, explicit F/F for two hot and famously bisexuals hip-hop artists, sign me up!
Also me 20 minutes later: I need a shower for what I suspect was straight-dude-fic written with one hand.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

can't believe someone put a school shooting in a yuletide fic completely unprompted. like. damn, happy holidays to you too.

Re: Vague about bad fics in the collection

[(Anonymous)]

A fandom I usually run to read first and it's never disappointed me until this year; 4 betas and Britpickers and it's 4K of blocky paragraphs of infodump, not a single line of dialogue, so hard to read. I tried really hard to like it because I love the characters but I couldn't even finish it.