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coalie ([personal profile] coalcube) wrote in [community profile] coaltide2025-10-26 01:46 pm
Entry tags:

One Wank After Another

A blank assignment is a funny thing, isn't it? When you have it, you don't appreciate it, and when you miss it, it's gone.


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Thursday 1 January: Author reveals, end of event (9pm UTC)

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Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, you're not only a complete moron but also have a total lack of empathy.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
dc

why are we getting all precious about the feelings of the nonce stan

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 01:16 pm (UTC)(link)
You think that's why people are responding like this?

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
that's what this subthread sounds like? like, the argument that dg was obnoxiously grandstanding about it i get, but when like empathy and shit is getting bandied about....like empathy for whom if not the nonce stan

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
dc

Because "maybe I'm too autistic to understand why people care if anyone trash talks them in public" is not specifically about the nonce stan, it's a general failure to grasp common emotional responses.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
DC

To be frank, if I had a nickel for every time someone in anonspace showed an incredibly basic failure to grasp that people are built different', I could retire.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
DC

I don't know or care about that person, but if an exchange participant doesn't think there's anything wrong with ranting about their recipient on Twitter because they disapprove of their fandoms, I highly doubt that they feel this only applies to people in British Royals RPF. And dememe says they have a history about complaining about exchange things in namespace, so it's not a one-off.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Nobody is arguing in defense of this specific person, but rather against the idiotic comment about not caring what anyone else thinks. That's pretty damn obvious.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you stupid?

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Stop trying to make this wank happen asshole.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Nah, they're right. And pretending to blame autism for being dick ableist as fuck. No, the coalie upthread isn't being "too autistic to understand" why being shitty on Twitter is something that gets negative responses.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Noted.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
hey quick question, what are some common symptoms of autism

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry to say that "I don't understand why I shouldn't publicly bitch about people in a place where they might see it, how is that wrong?" is not a symptom of autism.

Even if you did genuinely not emotionally understand because you feel differently (fair!), it's something that - as an adult - you will have learned at some point is generally considered rude, so the wide-eyed ignorance is when people point out that it's rude is either performative, deliberate shit-stirring, or terminal assholitis.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not that coalie but like, unstated rules of exchange and social media etiquette seem incredibly easy for someone with the developmental disorder that famously affects the ability to interpret and engage in social situations to not understand.

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(Anonymous) - 2025-11-01 16:24 (UTC) - Expand

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Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel like I've seen this kind of thing so many times online. "I wouldn't care if someone did this to me!" Well, most people do, which is why we teach kids it's rude. "So, what, I can't say what I want on my own account?" You can, people will just find it rude and react accordingly.

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(Anonymous) - 2025-11-01 16:30 (UTC) - Expand

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Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
DC

+1

Damn it, you said the same thing as me but in much fewer words.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
DC

I'm sick of this infantilizing crap.

I might be somewhere on the sociopathy spectrum because I'm one of those 'low empathy' people who simply does not feel viscerally upset on behalf of other people. I loved my grandpa but I more or less felt nothing when he suddenly died, and any negative feelings over it to the point of genuinely disrupting my mood and daily function were incredibly low-grade and diffuse. People experiencing genuinely debilitating grief and heartbreak is hard to relate to, for me.

But when you're built that differently, it's impossible not to be aware that most people aren't wired like you are. If I asked why anyone would possibly be that upset their relative has died, it would not be because of a particular neurodivergence, it would be due to a failure of basic observation and paying attention to the fact that other people exist. AKA being a bit too self-absorbed, which is a common failing.

And I actually think dogpiling the "I'm too autistic to understand this" coalie is a bit shitty, because it's better to show grace when people are earnest in a way that ends up showing their asses a bit. We're all still learning.

But yeah, it's got nothing to do with autism and I'm sick of people using that as an excuse for failure to accept that people are different, and you don't have to understand it on an emotional level in order to be obliged to accept it. (More to the point, whether you accept a behavior or not should be derived from first principles of how to balance personal agency with compassion, and should have nothing to do with how much you personally get someone's response.)

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
cyrt

I *guess*, but I don't think this is a situation anywhere near as clear as a relative dying. We're talking about a fanfiction exchange faux pas.

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) - 2025-11-01 16:29 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2025-11-01 16:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
They weren't being earnest, though

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Being a dick?

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Nah.

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(Anonymous) - 2025-11-01 18:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Autism is a mental disorder, the defining characteristic of which is that autists are unable or unwilling to understand or care that other people are people too and that other people's feelings, safety or opinions matter.

They claim that they're "logical", but that's not actually true. By "logical" they mean "other people's feelings are stupid and I should not face consequences for being an asshole".

Yes, acting like an asshole is a common symptom of autism.

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(Anonymous) - 2025-11-01 19:11 (UTC) - Expand

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Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 03:15 pm (UTC)(link)
What on earth are you talking about?

Re: The DNW that made you want to know the backstory

(Anonymous) 2025-11-01 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Butts