coaltide | One Wank After Another

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2025

One Wank After Another

A blank assignment is a funny thing, isn't it? When you have it, you don't appreciate it, and when you miss it, it's gone.

Wednesday 10 December: Default deadline (9pm UTC)
Wednesday 17 December: Assignment deadline (9pm UTC)
Wednesday 24 December: Main collection works reveals (9pm UTC)
Thursday 25 December: Madness collection works reveals (9pm UTC)
Thursday 1 January: Author reveals, end of event (9pm UTC)

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Crueltide | Femslash Festivus | Yulebuilding | Three Turtle Doves | Two for One | Yuleporn
Family Matters | Queering the Tide | Yuletide Madness Drabble Invitational | TransTide
Chromatic Yuletide | Unconventionyule | Wrapping Paper | Babytide | MultiLingYule

Yuletide Discord for Hippos & Exchanges After Dark for namespace ~~drama~~ 18+ discussion.

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Sorry to say that "I don't understand why I shouldn't publicly bitch about people in a place where they might see it, how is that wrong?" is not a symptom of autism.

Even if you did genuinely not emotionally understand because you feel differently (fair!), it's something that - as an adult - you will have learned at some point is generally considered rude, so the wide-eyed ignorance is when people point out that it's rude is either performative, deliberate shit-stirring, or terminal assholitis.

I'm not that coalie but like, unstated rules of exchange and social media etiquette seem incredibly easy for someone with the developmental disorder that famously affects the ability to interpret and engage in social situations to not understand.

CYRT

This isn't exchange etiquette, though. "If you bitch about people in a public place, many people will find it rude" is not a situation that will only crop up in exchanges or on social media but in virtually every aspect of life.

But specifically in the fandom context, bitching about people on pseudonymous social media isn't like, uncommon. Usually people vaguepost, I guess, but vagueposting can get pretty obvious.

Idk, maybe I'm not rlly getting the outrage here bc in isolation I just don't think what duckgirlie did is that big a deal and that's where this whole conversation started.

DC

I think the outrage is partly just that it would make Yuletide a much more rancid experience if this behavior were common and the norm.

for this behavior to be the norm being a pedo stan would also have to be the norm at which point you're whining about the second order effects of rancidity

0/10

this isn't bait, it's just true, you really cannot pretend this is a generic case of fannish judgementalness.

Yawn

"Not uncommon" and "rude" aren't mutually exclusive. Yes, many people are rude, especially on social media. Which is why social media is the way it is.

Having said that - no, bitching about a specific fandom person on your unlocked social media is not actually all that common. We don't actually all rant about our fandom nemeses on Twitter or Tumblr and when we do it on DW, we usually lock that shit down. And more specifically, bitching about a fandom person because you think their fandoms are morally objectionable is very very uncommon outside the anti scene.

That's not what you all said about Gheyn and Fakecirilla.

Ayrt

Most of the bitching about them was on coal and meme rather than namespace. Which is exactly my point.

That people are cowards?

ayrt

You're free to go share every complaint and judgement you have about someone from your community (whether it's fandom or another RL or hobby community) on social media. If it makes you feel brave, go right ahead.

Just don't be surprised when people think you're a rude asshole.

SA

* RL or online community

You're just not in the right (wrong) fandoms to see this. I see it happen on DW all the time.

Yeah I think it's genuinely a bit mitigating that a lot of people treat their social media as semi-private because usually only like six friends see it. And something bitchy getting reposted to an anon comm and then being associated with them forever because coal never forgets is pretty unique to certain internet spaces.

But that's a fuck around and find out lesson everybody gets eventually.

I feel like I've seen this kind of thing so many times online. "I wouldn't care if someone did this to me!" Well, most people do, which is why we teach kids it's rude. "So, what, I can't say what I want on my own account?" You can, people will just find it rude and react accordingly.

It's just pure egocentrism in the literal sense of the word: elevating personal preference to universal preference. These people's understanding of interpersonal rules of engagement never grew past kindergarten-level "Treat others as you would like to be treated". Because otherwise you'd have to actually decide what behavior is correct and what behavior isn't based on complex factors like impact, intent, harm, etc., and that's way too complicated./s

The "I wouldn't care if someone did this to me!" is often not true either; it's just a really convenient way to excuse your own rude behavior.

Not always, of course, but plenty of times when it DOES actually happen to them, then obviously it IS terrible and the person who's doing it is the worst.

+1

A close relative is like this and the obvious double standards for how X is upsetting when done to her but not upsetting when done by her to others are one big reason I've considered going no-contact.

DC

+1

Damn it, you said the same thing as me but in much fewer words.

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