Morbane's coal

[coalcube]

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January


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Comments

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Nonny this is not hyperaggression, it is bafflement, for the same reason one might be baffled if someone said "look we can all agree cheese on a ham sandwich is bad, but some people put it on there anyway". Assuming your qualitative and provably non-universal preference is objective truth or even just near-universal etiquette will elicit such a response. In your case I suspect your repeated accusations of aggression stem from the same source as your insistence on this bizarre non-norm; but a few random anons' undiagnosed anxiety disorders still does not make a norm out of thin air.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

"an FFA freak with more neuroses than a xan'd up 60s housewife AND her closet case husband."

This is aggression.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

No, it's humor.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Oh dear, that explains a lot.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Keep clutching those pearls, babe, it makes you look soooo normal and well-adjusted.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

HEY GUYS THERE'S A GIANT COLLECTION OF COOL FIC THAT JUST OPENED, YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF IT, CHECK IT OUT OR YOU COULD KEEP SMELLING YOUR OWN FARTS I GUESS

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Projection.....

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

maybe look at your own replies before you start throwing stones mate. js

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Ok I've looked

what now?

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

It's a bit rude, yeah, but also it's in reaction to a bizarre and doubled-down claim. The part about neuroses is not exaggeration. It is fact.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

"this bizarre non-norm"

I'll venmo you five bucks if you can find a recent ao3 exchange where more people have listed the recip's name in author's notes than haven't

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2023

There you go! I'll wait here for your tally. 💚

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Way more people didn't! Cool story.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

No, I disagree. Tally please!

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

This is like saying "it's awful manners to wear yellow socks" and citing as proof the statistically lower prevalence of yellow socks.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

+1 lmfao??

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

No, it's like saying "my author got me socks, but they were yellow" and then having a bunch of people start bitching that yellow socks are actually the best and totally the norm when everyone around them is not wearing yellow socks.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Again, your qualitative judgement is not an objective reality. You are insisting you've observed something objectively true but you haven't!

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

In this case, adding your recipient's name is not the "best" (what is the competition/ranking???) or the most frequent practice but it's also one of many very acceptable and normal practices.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

but it's literally not.

Writers who add recip names to their author notes are annoying like writers who get the characters' eye colors wrong or have extra spaces between paragraphs. They are the burdens we all must bear sometimes.

One of these things (eye color) is provably wrong and thus uncontroversially annoying.

One of these (spacing) is a common complaint I've seen lots of people mention in lots of contexts.

One of these (addressing your recip in your note) is not something I have ever even seen discussed, much less a subject of annoyance.

It's like saying "obviously we all hate losing electricity, finding bugs in flour, and curtains instead of blinds". They just are not equivalent. There is no consensus. Insisting one exists, calling it an etiquette issue and thus attempting to imbue it with moral weight, and then accusing anyone who disagrees of being super mad? Genius trolling tbh but baby it's just you. You are the weird one. This isn't a thing. It's just... not.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Stealth Twelfth Night crossover, is it?

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

It's literally not a norm for normal people, which - despite BFE's attempts to drive out anyone who's graduated therapy - are still the biggest cohort of any given exchange. I don't know how else to explain it. BFE is riddled with anxious losers who are bad writers and seek to create Byzantine rules of engagement to satisfy their own neuroses and frustrated egos. But the rules are just that, invented. Made up. Nonsense. And no one outside the hothouse of FFA's BFE thread needs to pretend otherwise. Your contention is bizarre and unsupportable and you are so accustomed to lack of pushback that people telling you as much is inducing panic. Cognitive behavioral therapy works; I recommend it!

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

...dude, it's really not cyrt who needs therapy. You are buttmad and flailing.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

Cock ball therapy could help.

Re: tangents

[(Anonymous)]

The best part of this incoherent rant is the implication no one pushes back on discussions on FFA when this thread is literally a continuation of a hundreds of comments long argument from FFA.