coaltide | Morbane's coal

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January

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but it's literally not.

Writers who add recip names to their author notes are annoying like writers who get the characters' eye colors wrong or have extra spaces between paragraphs. They are the burdens we all must bear sometimes.

One of these things (eye color) is provably wrong and thus uncontroversially annoying.

One of these (spacing) is a common complaint I've seen lots of people mention in lots of contexts.

One of these (addressing your recip in your note) is not something I have ever even seen discussed, much less a subject of annoyance.

It's like saying "obviously we all hate losing electricity, finding bugs in flour, and curtains instead of blinds". They just are not equivalent. There is no consensus. Insisting one exists, calling it an etiquette issue and thus attempting to imbue it with moral weight, and then accusing anyone who disagrees of being super mad? Genius trolling tbh but baby it's just you. You are the weird one. This isn't a thing. It's just... not.

+1

But congrats on them for finding something stakesless to argue about instead of Christmas drama. Can't really blame them

"One of these (addressing your recip in your note) is not something I have ever even seen discussed"

You're new as a baby's bottom, then. Because we've had the discussion many many times, and it is, in fact, a thing.

Who is "we"? Link! If it's such a common point of contention surely you can.

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/502406.html?thread=3028611462#cmt302

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/288417.html?thread=1630659489#cmt1630659489

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/513552.html?thread=3103628816#cmt3103628816

There are have been many many more discussions of whether people use or like usernames in authors notes and this is only on ffa. Dememe more there if you really want them.

How many times must someone say FFA's bizarre neuroses do not constitute a norm before you understand? Do you struggle to comprehend that the earth revolves around the sun, as well?

DC: It's not even FFA's bizarre neuroses - one of the examples is barely an example, just mentioning the concept of names in author's notes in passing, and one involved the socktopus.

Incredible. As you can tell I didn't bother clicking because FFA is constantly having these "if you don't do this insane thing i just made up you're a cyberbully and a gaslighter" BFE wanks and every time my reaction is "no one else worries about this. Or thinks about it. Ever."

Morbane's coal

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