Offseason #1

[coalcube]

Use this post for any exchanges running from January onwards into the first quarter of the year. Try to keep final Yuletide thoughts in the last coal post of 2019 for ease of conversation.

Coal Friending Meme
2020 NYR Collection + 2019 App
Yuletide, Exchanges After Dark, & FFA Discords.

Flat / Recent | Top-Level (Last) | Search

Comments

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

cyrt

"your beliefs"? If "I don't want to date someone with a penis" inherently entail those beliefs, in your opinion? Because I'm increasingly unimpressed with the variety of "I'm not saying a TERF is a lesbian who doesn't want to date someone with a penis, I'm just saying that a TERF is someone who has these thoughts, which are the only possible reasons not to date someone with a penis" arguments here.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

“Your belief” is that all trans women have have penises. That’s the transphobic assumption.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Where?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Intersex people exist. As does bottom surgery.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

CYRT

Yes, and? How is this a response?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Their supposed assumption about all trans women having penises, nonny. You're reinforcing the impression that no matter what, you're going to take a completely neutral statement of a societally marginalized sexual orientation as hiding some kind of moral corruption.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Not wanting to date a trans person is fine, no one is owed a date. The way it is often expressed can be transphobic and the reasoning for the preference is sometimes based on transphobic assumptions.

Nobody is saying you have to date someone, just that you shouldn't be an asshole about it and invalidate them or the people who would date them. Just look at the places in this thread where a lesbian who would date a trans woman was told she must be bi.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

What's wrong with being bi?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

What kind of response is this? There is nothing wrong with being bi, but a woman who is only attracted to women is not bi just because some of those women are trans.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

it's bi and there's nothing wrong with that

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

It isn't bi. A woman who is only attracted to and willing to date women is a lesbian.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

lmao okay

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

🎤🎤🎤TRYIN’ TO BE COOL BUT LOOKIN’ LIKE A FOOL TO ME 🔬🔬🔬

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Nothing! It is fucked up to say that you know someone’s orientation better than they do. Lesbians who were in relationships with dudes before they came out are still lesbians. Lesbians who have sex with trans women are still lesbians. Trans women are women, and trans women who identify as lesbians are not, as was said at the beginning of this trainwreck, “straight men”.

Some people ID as bi. But people who don’t... *gasp* aren’t bi!!

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

you have a point that lesbians feel pressured to date men before coming out... and again after they come out pressured to date "trans lesbians" lmao

it's fucked to try and pressure lesbians to date males no matter how they identify

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

By enacting pressure on lesbians to not date trans women? Is that how you win?

Trans women are not men, and lesbians can date them without having to reassess their identity as lesbians.

My personal willingness to date trans women has nothing to do with you.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

driveby anon here

but isn't the whole point of being a lesbian being same-sex attracted?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Trans women are women.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

I assume by that you're disagreeing with me thinking a lesbian is same-sex attracted, so what is the right word for someone who is?

genuinely a bit turned around by all of this

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Lesbians are exclusively attracted to women. Trans women are women.

Women who are exclusively attracted to women and include trans women in that are still lesbians.

I don't know what part of this is confusing.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

Do you have any idea how many lesbians use dildos? Are you saying that lesbians that like any penetration aren’t lesbians because they’re only supposed to like scissoring or something?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

sorry, can you back up a bit? I didn't say anything about penetration.

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

If penises don’t matter at all then what is the issue? Are you telling me lesbians need to do chromosomal analysis to ensure that both they and their partners are both XX in order for it to count as same sex?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

is this a parody? Are you trying to sound like a fucking frat bro right now?

Re: Chocolate Box - Letter 3T1L

[(Anonymous)]

For that matter, many women wear trousers, so if you think about it, any lesbian who doesn't exclusively date Amish women is bisexual.