coaltide | Offseason #5

let's make a list of recurring wankers/wank magnets who are not gone, I'll start:

rosefox
beatrice_otter
untherius

here's some more

flip flop diva
huntress79
withthekeyisking
sweet sorcery

aurae isn't signing up for too many exchanges but they're still on meme

sweetsorcery only did the one wanky thing and the other three are just noncommenters, right?

ffd and huntress are noncommenters and badficcers. they know what they are doing pisses people off and keep doing it by signing up at the last minute so they can't be avoided or ask for every single ship in a particular fandom. also withthekeyisking threw a fit about not getting feedback when they never comment and did some other wanky stuff i don't remember and they're just all round obnoxious. blocked them on socials.

sweetsorcery didn't just do one wanky thing. as well as them and their friend pulling their fics from fandom 5k ss made a couple wanky posts about how lingering pinch hits should just waive their gifts. no way in hell any mod worthy of the name will let that fly.

huntress's fic is really bad but I don't think ffd's output is all that terrible. She definitely does know what she's doing re: noncommenting and last minute signups though

NC

FFD's fic is OK. It's not badfic but I wouldn't rec it to anyone, either.

Huntress is just an awful writer, period. And so is that Reader sock drawer person who should also be on the ongoing wankers list.

FFD wrote one of the worst gifts I've ever received. She writes shit.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2024-02-03 04:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2024-02-03 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

NC

No, withthekeyisking / Quil is a wanky noncommenter with zero self-awareness who complains publicly about their recips and comments that either aren't to their liking or aren't coming fast enough, just so that their minions can comfort and console them. The hypocrisy is unreal. And Q's followers aren't aware their idol is actually often a noncommenter themself. They don't even see how wanky and rude this type of public dragging of recips actually is.

Some examples:
https://twitter.com/withthekeyisQ/status/1554934103014866944
https://twitter.com/withthekeyisQ/status/1510142712212819968
https://twitter.com/withthekeyisQ/status/1670283566935158785

A reply that sums up the followers' complete blindness:
https://twitter.com/boyhostage/status/1670301461765406721

Q is so much worse than your garden-variety noncommenter, imo.

yep. they are a total pos and I want nothing to do with them.

lol my friend was an exchange newbie when she matched to Q. Wrote a gorgeous fic, kept messaging me about how excited she was. I had to warn her what was likely to happen. She got a placeholder comment talking about how Q WOULD read it. No follow-up, of course. Months later she thanked me for warning her because she would have been really hurt.

I wonder how Beatrice_Otter thinks of her stupid Roadkill fic now. She hasn't done anything like that in, like, a decade, but people are probably less willing to move past it because she often talks like she's lecturing the ignorant.

Ooh, fun.

Obsessive_Reader7, together with co-accounts Read_4_All_4_Readers and Mangwa_Lover. Spotty commenter. Bad SPAG. Frequently signed up with 2-3 socks whether this was encouraged or not. Also drew ire for signing up to Heart Attack, an exchange which requires a safety fandom that can be consumed in under 5 hours, except their safety fandom was a freemium game that could only be consumed in that time if you spent a lot of money to release chapters faster than the norm OR you'd planned ahead of time and started consuming it weeks and weeks in advance. Has got slightly better in that they now comment more frequently and haven't multi-socked in a while, possibly because they got booted from several exchanges.

fabulous_but_evil, together with co-accounts Hyppolite and Demonboy. You used to be able to watch them sign up together and all update their requests at the same way and the same time. Useless noncommenter & almost always a defaulter. Actually fun and wide-ranging prompts, and they prompted so widely in fandoms that they were sometimes people's only match - really hard to avoid without DNM requests. On the rare occasions they wrote something, it was a mess with no line breaks. Real jerk but hasn't signed up for anything for a year, so probably defunct, but this is what people talk about when they talk about bad socking.

also there's that dumb fuck who was annoying in discord and whined about how insecure they were and did indeed end up writing a really shitty fic.

As written, this comment could apply to many people.

Assuming this is about voldemort, they also seem to be gone so they're not relevant to this thread.

doubt.jpg

Someone was wanking about voldemort's fandom on ffa just the other day. Honestly they're the kind of idiot that I'm pleasantly surprised is taking even a moment to lay low; but they're convinced they're less obvious than they are so I'd expect them to come back with a sloppy paint job.

NC

There's a fic writer actually fucking calling themselves Voldemort???

Fucking wow.

nah their real user name starts with fish and ends with something that rhymes with sneakers. we just don't say it cos we don't wanna summon them.

personally I don't care if they come back with different serial numbers or not, as long as they're not wanking about themselves I won't notice them.

given their past behavior they'll be pretty easy to spot. i reckon they're not done and dusted yet.

I have caught up on the wank regarding pisces elocutor after discovering this community several hours ago (let's just say I have personal reasons to find it vindicating), and I have to say, I'm disappointed you guys kept that tired "shut up pisces elocutor" "no u" meme going for so long

without arriving at the OBVIOUS solution, which was "write a decent 100-word drabble right there on the spot to prove that you're not them", which at least would have been vastly more entertaining XD

go away no one cares

ecks dee!!

I'm happy they don't seem to have signed up to anything since Yuletide and another December-reveals exchange.