coaltide | One Wank After Another

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2025

One Wank After Another

A blank assignment is a funny thing, isn't it? When you have it, you don't appreciate it, and when you miss it, it's gone.

Wednesday 10 December: Default deadline (9pm UTC)
Wednesday 17 December: Assignment deadline (9pm UTC)
Wednesday 24 December: Main collection works reveals (9pm UTC)
Thursday 25 December: Madness collection works reveals (9pm UTC)
Thursday 1 January: Author reveals, end of event (9pm UTC)

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CYRT

Yes? Very much.

In scene 2, I imagine them sitting at the bar and the glass sliding towards them on the counter. Presumably someone prepared it and pushed it offscreen, but I don't "see" them; the camera is fixed on Blorbo and Blorboo.

In scene 1, another character wanders into the scene. What does she look like? I'm imagining her as a redhead. Does the writer intend her to be a redhead ? Does she know Blorbo and Blorboo? Has she witnessed their interaction and now thinks they're friends/enemies/lovers? is she flirting with them or do they annoy her? Is she going to have some kind of significance later?

Basically, my mind is now focusing on the character instead of being immersed in Blorbo's and Blorboo's scene and I hate it.

well thank you for confirming. This is quite surprising to me

Okay this has to be a bit. Coalie who was stressed out from a work week, have we wanked enough for you yet?

DC

I don't know what to tell you, coalie, brains are strange and fandom is neurodiversity central. No Barmaid Coalie is strange but who's to say that this is not their genuine experience of fiction?

Yeah I’m good. Currently trapped under a kitty.

Way to flex on us

A year and a half of hard work to get to this point. This tiny kitty is a ball of adorable anxiety.

Oh, lucky you! <3

If you care that litle about the characters you’re reading about that you will latch onto and obsess about literally any other character mentioned in the scene, maybe you should consider requesting characters you actually find compelling?

0/10

Idk man they kind of have a point

I think in that case you should probably DNW "any mention of OCs existing," because as a writer, I would not realize that "DNW OCs" meant literally no mention that someone brought their drinks if they go to a bar and no mention that other people exist in the world if they step outside.

There is zero chance I would read "No OCs" as "There cannot be anyone in the fic that is not a named person in canon" but also if I wrote this and you complained, I would insist that actually that barmaid is in canon, she's the barmaid from Season 3, Episode 16, that you can see in the background of frames 116 to 127, here is a screenshot.

A more general "DNW: unrequested characters" would take care of that

Yes but fuck that /tired coalie

I'm just confused that everyone is apparently writing fic with so much plot that it needs background characters. And I kind of get it when you match on a single character, but otherwise? Nah.

This coalie: so. much. plot.

Actual plot: two characters hang out in public place

Not everyone can live the kind of high octane lifestyle you do. Imagine! Characters leaving the house! When I DNWed action/adventure!

Dunno what to tell you, Coalie, some people don't always write exactly the kind of fic you do.

Even if I'm writing intensely shippy plotless fic tightly focused on two characters, I'm interested in how their relationship reflects off other people and what that tells you about it, not just two people in a box. Probably I won't use OCs if there are other canon characters that work (except, like, a one line mention of a barmaid) but a story with only the two requested characters mentioned at all would just not occur to me because I have zero interest in it. Like even if they're marooned together on a desert island for a thousand words they're probably gonna talk or think about who they miss back home at least once because not doing that would make them deeply unwell. Maybe if it's pure porn nobody else will come up naturally.

some people don't always write exactly the kind of fic you do

I get that, but unless coalies are same anoning, it sounds like y'all write the kind of fic that needs background characters, which is totally wild because I think I received that maybe three or four times in two decades of Yuletide. (And one of that was 20+k, so that makes sense for a fic that size.)

There's a difference between "the characters think about their friend/brother/kid back home" and "the plot needs a unnamed guard and a named OC barmaid and a scene with Ernie's father to work".

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DC

Purely out of curiosity, this made me do a tally of the ten most recent fics I posted.
1: ficlet, genre: missionfic, 3 characters, 1 unnamed OC (enemy goon)
2: ficlet, genre: humor, 5 characters, 0 OCs
3: fic, genre: adventure/horror, 2 characters, 0 OCs
4: fic, genre: adventure/suspense, 3 characters, brief interactions with multiple unnamed OCs
5: ficlet, genre: shippy/humor, 3 characters, 0 OCs
6: drabble, genre: humor, 3 characters, 0 OCs
7: drabble, genre: humor, 2 characters, multiple nameless OCs
8: ficlet, genre: shippy/humor, 2 characters, 0 OCs
9: ficlet, genre: shippy missionfic, 2 characters, 3 OCs mentioned or appearing
10: fic, genre: shipfic/drama, 2 characters, 0 OCs

So out of 10 fics, 4 had OCs. I'm not surprised it's a low count, because I find OCs challenging to write/flesh out and tend towards fic with tight casts of characters interacting in a limited space. OTOH, 4 out of 10 is actually more than I expected.

I'm trying to chip away at a massive WIP that's all about two of the cast getting separated and trying to live a "normal" life for a bit, which obviously has to involve OCs (and quite extensive fleshing out of them, too) or it just doesn't feel right. More canon-typical fic can go either way.

Interesting, I feel like it takes barely any plot at all to need to at least mention background humans existing. I don't read or write smut so maybe that's what skews it?

I'd say maybe half the time, I write characters talking alone together in a room, so no OCs appear. But not every fic takes place in a closed room, and I don't always have any good story ideas for just locking two people in a room for 1k words with zero plot. About half the time my characters will be *somewhere* and describing what's around them and how they interact with the environment is just part of building the scene. If they order a drink, someone will make it. If they're at an army camp there will be guards standing around. If they're at the park there will be some mention that other people are also there, like IDK, maybe a mention of joggers off in the distance or someone walking their dog? Of course it's not necessary to mention the dog-walker, but it feels awkward or like bland writing to either not describe the park at all or describe it without mentioning any other humans, unless there's some reason why the place would be desolate. I can find a way around it if there's a DNW I need to follow, but it would be a deliberate choice and I might have to change how I write a bit to make it work.

Re: Unpopular Opinion Time

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I like the cut of your jib

Honestly the idea of something appearing like that is more distracting to me than a human being involved.

It doesn't have to appear out of thin air, though. Coalies are acting like there's just no way to write a scene like that scene without jumping through hoops, but all you need is not to write out every minute detail.

"Blorbo ordered another drink and sipped it slowly."

There. Drink doesn't materialise out of the blue, bartender doesn't get screentime (page-time?), everyone is happy.

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