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I'd rather reject a month later and forget it happened

The question is whether you'll be able to do that.

I once didn't ask for an EPH where I should have, had a shitty experience that ruined one of my favorite exchanges for me forever, and I'm still pissed about it years later.

Can you go into this? As "EPH isn't worth it" coalie above I'm legit wondering how you feel like getting an EPH would have un-ruined the experience in those circumstances if it was really that bad. Is it just not having a gift to look back on? Is it the fact that you didn't say anything and it bothers you that you didn't?

ayrt

Oh, it's worse! I did say actually something to the mod, I just foolishly waved off the EPH. What I didn't factor in in that moment is that I do exchanges mainly for the gift, so once the initial 'I'm so done with this' annoyance passed, it felt like I wasted so much time and effort on the exchange, and I got a bag full of shit out of it. Over the years I've received a couple of gifts with DNWs in other exchanges and also didn't ask for EPHs, but I always had treats, so those were not terrible experiences overall.

ah okay. I can never figure out whether to be wildly jealous or just mildly baffled about people who do exchanges primarily because they really love getting their gift fics. I think I've got a total of maybe half a dozen gifts in decades that were good enough I actively go back for rereads and most of them have been the equivalent of the ceramic clown figurine I got from Great-Aunt Belinda when I was three. I don't hate it! The present-opening experience was fun, I'm glad you had fun too and it was a great social experience to share my prompts and see what other people did with them! It's going to stay in a box on the top shelf forever!

I am probably just too picky to ever do exchanges just for the gifts.

For me I do it for the gifts, but it’s more like pulling a gacha than buying something nice. I do exchanges because very rarely, I get a gift that makes all the duds worth it. I can’t get the diamond without the meh, even if I’d rather have all diamonds and no meh.

ayrt

Maybe I'm just extraordinarily lucky. I got so many gifts I love and frequently reread.

I think it really depends on the fandom. In my experience, the older and less popular the fandom the better.

+100000000000

If I was only doing exchanges for the gifts I would have quit after my very first Yuletide and so many Yuletides after. I enjoy creating something nice for someone else and on the rarest blue moon, I get something I honestly enjoy. I've received exactly one pinch hit that I have ever enjoyed. Asking for an EPH after getting a DNW or a rule-breaking gift is asking for more disappointment. I do let the mods know about those eventually. At the time I just want to put another bad gift behind me as fast as I can.

I've done it three times over the years and just feel mild annoyance when I remember them.

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