coaltide | Morbane's coal

Morbane's coal

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January

Yuletide Discord for Hippos & Exchanges After Dark Discords for Namespace ~~drama~~ 18+ discussion. Google Group for PHs.

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I hate it on ffa. I don't want to hear about what discrimination everyone is facing all the time. It's so fucking exhausting.

For those hanging out here in the off-season, Candy Hearts sign-ups close today. https://archiveofourown.org/collections/CandyHeartsExchange2024

Are you planning to participate? Write treats?

For wank fans, Candy Hearts 2023 had this notorious event: https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/583543.html?thread=3567024503#cmt3567024503

I signed up! I missed out on last year because I didn't realize it was taking the place of chocolate box (I guess that's now done??), but excited to do it this year!

Also, that wank. Oof. Oooffff. I am cringing so hard in my soul.

Get scissored.

so ppl can talk about chocolate hearts and other exchanges and shit

https://coaltide.dreamwidth.org/7905.html

is here for the whiners.

see you all next year~

I’m fine keeping it in the same post. It’s not like we’re running up against the comment limit.

thank u coalcube. You are good to us.

misura is awesome

I recently discovered that one of my dearest tiny fandoms got kicked off on AO3 by misura + their recip for YT. (Haven't actually read it because it's verging on NOTP, but I still appreciate that it's there.)

I remember reading a lot of good stuff on LJ back in the day, too. I know a lot of it was by liodain so obviously some of it got imported to AO3, but I imagine there's a lot more out there for people willing to dig, if it hasn't been nuked in the LJ purges.

As an asexual who likes E-rated fic, I can tell you with some confidence that attraction and "fictional landscape likes" are not particularly correlated

People always say that and I've never seen this argument used with the context of a fandom that would convince me. Like one time I saw people complaining that Undertale fans are more fixated on Sans than Alphys and how this is proof of misogyny, when... really the characters aren't particularly similar except superficially, and most importantly, while Alphys has nice moments in the game, Sans has unforgettable AWESOME ones.

My own personal blorbo catnip seems to be AuDHD-coded smartass intellectuals. I'm a woman who meets that description (minus the smartass, I guess that's the wish-fulfillment part), but I have yet to meet a female character matching that description who I'd imprint upon in the same way. Sure, it's misogyny deep down, but that's on the part of whatever bias in writers decides how to distribute character archetypes across gender lines and the intersections of ableism and gender, not fandom. So bringing it up as an example of misogyny in fandom is just kinda pointless and buzzkilly.

Furthermore, my main fandom right now technically has a clean 50/50 male/female cast... but the male characters and their canonical interactions with each other are significantly better developed. There is more canon content for them in pure numbers and their interactions are more conflict-ridden and interesting. I write about all of them, but again, it's not that surprising that the M/&M relationships are the ones that have my brain jumping like a ferret 24/7.

+ Final thought. Of course, fandom can be really creative and people are out there writing wild AUs and rarepairs that involve characters who never even meet in canon, no obstacle to shipping is insurmountable when it comes to imagination.

But on the whole, people DO write what's easier for them, and the numbers will reflect that.

As a woman, I avoid reading F/F and M/F smut because it feels too close to home.

Escapism works best for me when the nitty-gritty details of how someone experiences sex aren't 1-to-1 relatable.

"bc lbr no one’s telling men in fandom they should write more lesbian porn."

Maybe we should be. Also, this reminds me of a friend I once had (no longer) who got huffy about women writing slash.

Said friend was a dude who refused to put their own fic (which included femslash) on AO3 because it was "too permanent".

I have no patience for people too chickenshit for the mortifying ordeal of being known through their fanworks, who nonetheless make uncharitable assumptions about the people who are not too chickenshit.

And what's more, this is Yuletide. In my tiny fandom of like one and a half active writers, I write primarily M/M, but 90% of the F/F fic for this fandom is also by me, because 1) I can enjoy and write more than one ship, 2) I know people who enjoy that ship and write it for them, even if it's not my mainstay. I doubt this is atypical for small fandoms. So getting up in arms about skews towards M/M aren't just entitled, in practice they sound ungrateful, too - because any person who writes both F/F and M/M and has contributed to the numbers of the latter now feels like their efforts for the former aren't appreciated because they didn't fucking meet quota

"A lot of people" does not mean "most". You pulled that out of a hat.

DC, but above coalie's point stands. In an anonymous exchange there will always be a risk of getting a mid or even subpar gift despite the best efforts of literally everybody involved, from author to recipient to mod team. The charitable approach to this - the approach that will keep exchanges a largely positive experience for everyone involved - is to accept such gifts graciously in the spirit in which they were meant. If doing this is such a big ask because you viscerally cannot stand the feeling of having a well-intentioned but meh gift on your Gifts page, then yeah, that is a you problem and your attitude does not belong in exchanges.

I agree that fake gushing devalues real gushy comments, but whatever happened to doing your best to find something you liked about the fic, and commenting on that, without crossing into fake effusive levels of gushiness?

+100000

Cannot agree with this at all. Bad endings are part and parcel of the darkfic genre. Plenty of people put some version of "DNWs: hopeless endings" in their letters for that very reason. Recip should have done that if they couldn't handle their fave being magically enslaved as a sentient undead.

I've had both A and B with different recipients this YT. I prefer B.

I don't see why anyone would bother with that. It's not like having something written for me by a shit person in an anon exchange reflects badly on me. I'm very happy to leave people's attitudes at the door so long as they don't bring those attitudes in themselves.

+1 Although, I'm kind of focusing in on the word "devalue". That feels like we're treating commenting/fandom as a zero sum game where proper value should be parceled out sparingly, but like...I have no way to tell which of the comments that I've received are real gushing and which are fake gushing. I treasure every comment that I receive, even the ones that are just a heart. Every single time I write a comment, I have to psych myself up for it because being effusive in writing is hard for me even when I feel effusive. So all of my comments feel "fake" in that sense, but the enjoyment that I had is very real.

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Morbane's coal

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Candy Hearts Exchange

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can we have an off season post please

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Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?

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Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?