it's also not bad modding to say that if someone has shown they are willing to abide by the norms of a space they are allowed in it, and there's valid, non-geek-fallacy reasons to think that's better for the community as a whole

bullshit. fandom is a community. ars_belli was posting her nazi thirst on the same platform she posted her yuletide letter on. it is completely reasonable to ban her on those grounds. requiring everyone else to attend to their requests with vigilance if they have an objection to matching with a nazi is ridiculous. the solution is to ban the nazi.