coaltide | Morbane's coal

In quantum wankchanics, Morbane's coal is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, of quantum wankerposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical gift may be considered simultaneously both the fic of your dreams (TFOYD) and coal, while it is unread state, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

The Coaltide interpretation implies that, after a while, the gift is simultaneously TFOYD and coal. Yet, when a coalie clicks on their gift, the coalie sees the gift either TFOYD or coal, not both TFOYD and coal. This poses the question of when exactly quantum wankerposition ends and reality resolves into one possibility or the other.

Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January

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I have finished reading the fandoms I know in the collection! As I said I would in one of the all-fic-is-bad trollfests before it opened, I rated each fic as I read it.

I read 55 fics in the collection across about 30 fandoms for a total of about 210,000 words (totals rounded for anonymizing purposes) Of these, there were 5 I didn't like enough to finish and 3 that were so good they broke the scale I was using to rate.

The average rating across all fics was above average on my I'm Taking This Too Seriously Aren't I Enjoyment Scale. There was a weak correlation (.23) of high ratings and high wordcounts, which I honestly had expected to be stronger because I like longfic. However, 3 of the fics I didn't finish were in the 5k+ bracket and the largest cluster of high ratings was in 2k-3k.

Out of curiosity, I also went to the tags of 10 of the fandoms and read the latest 5 fics which weren't in any collections. In 2 of the fandoms, I didn't enjoy any of those fics enough to finish them. In each of the others, the average rating on the ITTTSAIE scale was slightly lower than the average of the Yuletide sample but not much.

In conclusion, I have had too much screen time in the last two days and I'm going to bed. Good night.

I can safely say that at least one other person cares about these stats, because that person is me! This is so cool.

Thanks for your scientific rigor, coalie! Sleep tight, and tomorrow, please rec the three stories that knocked your socks off!*

(*Unless you have already recced them somewhere, in which case: your long fight is done, soldier, and you may put down your heavy yuletide burdens at last.)

Neat! I haven’t read as many stories yet, but my results are 30%: back buttoned out, 35% blah, 20% good & left kudos, 15% very good and commented.

i love that you did this, coalie.

What was the p-value on the 0.23 correlation?

Thank you for stats! I'm tempted to do this too but I think sleep wins for me.

Excellent analysis. For the latest five fics--to confirm, those were non-yuletide fics? I am very intrigued by that quality correlation...

Morbane's coal

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