coaltide | C-c-c-c-c-coal bomb!

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2023

C-c-c-c-c-coal bomb!

Surprise, bitch.

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Nominations: Monday 18 to Thursday 28 September (Coordination | Evidence Post)
Sign-ups: Friday 13 to Saturday 21 October (NYR | Promo Post)
Assignments Out: Monday 23 October (may be earlier)
Default Deadline: Monday 11 December
Assignment Deadline: Monday 18 December
Main Collection Opens: Monday 25 December
Madness Opens: Tuesday 26 December
Author Reveals: Monday 1 January

Yuletide Discord for Hippos & Exchanges After Dark Discords for Namespace ~~drama~~ 18+ discussion. Google Group for PHs.

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DC

Do people actually do this? I've never personally seen it but I've heard about it happening.

I think people say things like that but it doesn't actually happen much.

You might get a writer who can't do porn, so they won't do porn. But most people don't respond to restrictive prompts by deliberately going in the opposite direction on purpose.

CYRT

I can write smut, but NGL I would be pretty annoyed if it was someone's one and only prompt for what we matched on.

If I got a prompt that was literally only smut stuff - like the "pegging, facials, watersports" example above - I would absolutely ignore it entirely. They haven't given any options for someone who doesn't want to write smut for their ship, and they haven't shown enough respect for how Yuletide is supposed to work for me to bother going to the mods for alternate prompts.

If you give me a little bit about why you like the ship + some smut things + why you think those smut things would work with those characters, I will at least try to give you something that touches on the dynamic you like, though.

(Well. For that *specific* example I would probably write about a lakeside vacation where they go parasailing, have a spa visit, and spend some time doing traditional woodworking to build new furniture for the cabin. But in general I would ignore that with no qualms.)

(Well. For that *specific* example I would probably write about a lakeside vacation where they go parasailing, have a spa visit, and spend some time doing traditional woodworking to build new furniture for the cabin. But in general I would ignore that with no qualms.)

I like the idea of you doing this but I can only see this as one of those things no one does. It's so much extra effort for a point they will never get.

DC

As someone who is really bad at writing smut and also not great at thinking ideas from zero, this would honestly be the easiest route for me…

CYRT

Lol well I'm impressed! I'd bore myself trying to figure out the right terms of reference and an appropriate project for the wordwork, and even without that subject matter the entire thing would sound... wooden.

parasailing anon: Not as wooden as me trying to write smut for that prompt, I promise!

(I'm not even anti-smut, but I need to approach it from a 'what would the characters do' angle, and trying to shoehorn in someone else's kinks does not work. This is why I don't do pairing exchanges.)

Also clearly you didn't grow up reading the kind of kids' books where Pa building a three-legged stool was the most exciting thing to happen all winter. Your loss.

CYRT

Hey now, rude. I'm not casting aspersions on you for not writing smut; I wish my gen scenarios hung together better. And there was plenty of Laura Ingalls Wilder in my childhood. And the kind of Enid Blyton where they run away a lot. It just didn't stick.

I wasn't meaning to cast aspersions, sorry!

All good, I read "your loss" too snidely rather than with humor.

Hope you get a prompt that directly expresses enthusiasm for crafts and sports and personal pampering and other things you like to write, rather than that being the barest squeakable overlap between the porn they actually want and what you can write.

cyrt I might not do it just for the meme but "holiday on the water" is one of my bulletproof tropes, so it wouldn't take much.

Yes, unfortunately, they do. I've dropped offers because of it twice. Once was a letter that had exactly one prompt, which was a very specific noncon porn scenario between characters who barely interact in canon. The other one was a letter that straight up said "I only want porn for this request, if you aren't willing to write me porn please default."

I only ever want porn for all my requests tbh

but I just repeatedly deal with the miserable disappointment of receiving barely more than gen instead of saying so and drawing the wrath of anon

It's the "please default" that would really make me want to write bland gen out of spite.

Ngl, I would write the blandest gen in that situation too. That 'please default' can get fucked though - do you think that counts as porn by the recipient's metric?

"Please default" is the worst.

"I'm breaking the rules, and if you aren't OK with that, you can take the consequences" nope

Yes they do do this. One letter just said "Sex 'em up" for each fandom, nothing more, nothing less.

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