coalcube: (Default)
coalie ([personal profile] coalcube) wrote in [community profile] coaltide2019-10-01 05:25 pm
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CoalCeption

The wank is coming from inside the house.

NYR due before you sign up for 2019 Yuletide.
Nominations: 2 October (time tba) to 11 October, 9am UTC
Sign-ups: 27 October (time tba) to 4 November, 9am UTC
Prompts revealed and Madness opens: Approx 9 November
Default deadline: 11 December, 9am UTC
Assignment deadline: 18 December, 9am UTC
Main Collection Reveals: 25 December (time tba)

Yuletide Discord for Hippos. Google Group for PHs.
 

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
CYRT

Exactly. If you don't want something, say so.

It's like going to an office party where everyone gives and receives edible gifts. You had the chance to list out things you're allergic to or just plain don't like, and you knew precisely where the list is. You still didn't write anything on it. And then you get almond cookies and start whining that you're allergic to almonds. Yeah, it sucks, but that's your own fault and the longer you whine, the more I think you and the people who agree that it's the gifters fault are assholes.

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Food metaphors are always a bad way to go, but: On the other hand, I personally think it's not a great move to, if you see someone has a bunch of nuts listed as an allergy, to go "Hmmm...well, but they didn't list this super rare nut I happen to know about and love. I mean, chances are it didn't even occur to them, but you know what, let's make them a rare nut cookie because that's what I like."

(And for a blank signup, I'd personally be more likely to think "hmm, maybe they forgot to list allergens, I'll avoid the major ones like nuts," but I can see why opinions differ more there.)

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
If they wrote something on the list, then we're not talking about them.

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought the conversation had shifted more broadly. The original comment on this subthread included "if I forgot D/s OR had a blank sign up," suggesting in the first instance the signup was not blank, just missing that particular DNW.

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It's like going to an office party and not listing allergies because you have no allergies, but then someone gives you surströmming.

Yes, it's a food. No, a dish that you can be legally evicted from your apartment for opening indoors in some jurisdictions is not a reasonable present for a holiday exchange party*. It was on you to DNW nuts, because many holiday cookies contain nuts. It was not on you to DNW surströmming and hákarl, because no reasonable person would think unusual, widely loathed Scandinavian fermented fish dishes were appropriate gifts for an office food swap party in the first place.

* Unless your office is in Sweden and the party is on the third Thursday in August, in which case surströmming is on the menu of reasonably predictable gifts and you really do need to DNW it explicitly.

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
"because no reasonable person"

That's the keyword. Reasonable.

I personally believe everything non-canonical should be opt-in, because it's physically impossible to list everything you don't want but easy to list what you do. Arguing that everything goes unless you opt-out is a bullshit, legless argument, (oh, you got a story where someone tortured, raped, burned alive and ate a 3-month old? your story was a detailed portrait of life in Auschwitz complete with rape, cannibalism and torture in which the POV was on the side of the Nazis? Sorry, too bad, wasn't in your DNWS!) and I think most reasonable people know that.

But there are some people who aren't reasonable. You spin the wheel, you take your chances.

Re: Three truths and a lie: letters

(Anonymous) 2019-10-30 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
That's more like getting blow jobs and complaining.

Getting scat and complaining is like if I don't write down my cookie preferences and someone gave me cookies with anchovies in them. I didn't think I needed to specify not giving me anchovies cookies because who does that without knowing the person wants them? Everyone else either got tame cookies like chocolate chip or mildly adventurous cookies like red velvet macadamia or really out there cookies that they specifically asked for. Sure they put a lot of time into making them and they really love that type of cookie that I didn't think I needed to say I didn't want, but I'm gonna toss these unwanted anchovy cookies in the trash and be grumpy that I didn't get any cookies I could eat.