coaltide | Offseason #1

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offseason

Offseason #1

Use this post for any exchanges running from January onwards into the first quarter of the year. Try to keep final Yuletide thoughts in the last coal post of 2019 for ease of conversation.

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No one would be called a terf who didn't deserve it! Also, denying it is proof that you are one.

coalie above is a terf

Trans people have all sorts of genitals! Some are obviously trans, but there are plenty of people you’d never know weren’t cis. You also can’t tell what sex acts anyone is even interested in doing just from knowing they are trans. Stop assuming sex with a trans person MUST involve penetration. Stop projecting your weird heteronormative ideas about what positions, dynamics, and sex acts trans people might be into based on what you think about their genitals!

Some people don't want to date someone with a penis (or a vagina) regardless of what acts that specific individual is interested in doing with them. You don't start from a baseline of "everyone is entitled to sex or a relationship with you" and then have to come up with good reasons to exclude any person or group of people. The baseline is "no." This is a seriously sick way of looking at the world.

Excluding someone from gendered spaces for people of their gender on the basis of their chromosomes has nothing to do with anyone’s sex life. IDK why you think anyone is saying you must fuck a trans person.

No one talked about any of this, what is wrong with you?

...because that's the conversation being had here?

Conversations about what exactly you're going to do in bed are conversations you have with someone you've decided you'd like to have sex with, not arguments for persuading someone to have sex with you.

Tell that to the coalie or coalie strenuously arguing that it's transphobic to refuse someone with a penis because they might not even want to fuck you with it!!11!!

Why do you think “stop making assumptions” = “be dtf”? No one is saying you must fuck, they’re saying you must respect that women any individual lesbian is not into fucking for WHATEVER reason are women regardless of whether or not you personally think they’re fuckable.

Oh, you don't HAVE to be dtf, but don't turn down someone with a penis just because you don't like penises! They might not even want to have PIV!

Everyone assuming trans women all have dicks and want to use them on True Lesbians TM are doing exactly what is in the cyrt.

If you think about it, being a person with a vagina who doesn't want to date someone with a penis makes YOU the homophobe.

Just sounds to me like they're not attracted to people with dicks.

The comment isn’t talking about conversations about sex acts. It’s talking about the transphobic presumptions all the terfs are spouting to justify why they hold the bigoted and false view that trans women are inherently predatory interlopers,

Did you not parent up?

you can not want to date trans women because you are a lesbian without thinking they're predatory

AYRT

That coalie isn’t saying it’s transphobic not to want to fuck a particular person, they’re obviously saying that your beliefs about whether trans lesbians are lesbians, what trans women want, and what sex with one might involve are transphobic bullshit like “all gay men are pedophiles, so they shouldn’t be allowed to teach” and “any woman who enjoys penetration is not a Real Lesbian and will just leave you for a man” and “all bi people are cheating sluts so don’t be friends with them in case they steal your partner.”

It’s really not that hard to grasp.

cyrt

"your beliefs"? If "I don't want to date someone with a penis" inherently entail those beliefs, in your opinion? Because I'm increasingly unimpressed with the variety of "I'm not saying a TERF is a lesbian who doesn't want to date someone with a penis, I'm just saying that a TERF is someone who has these thoughts, which are the only possible reasons not to date someone with a penis" arguments here.

“Your belief” is that all trans women have have penises. That’s the transphobic assumption.

Where?

Intersex people exist. As does bottom surgery.

CYRT

Yes, and? How is this a response?

Not wanting to date a trans person is fine, no one is owed a date. The way it is often expressed can be transphobic and the reasoning for the preference is sometimes based on transphobic assumptions.

Nobody is saying you have to date someone, just that you shouldn't be an asshole about it and invalidate them or the people who would date them. Just look at the places in this thread where a lesbian who would date a trans woman was told she must be bi.

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Offseason #1

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