Okay. If I can say what is lesbophobic it's lesbophobic (and deeply stupid) to act like anal is some special gay men thing and that wanring to hear about it or not is about gay men. Lesbians do anal too.

I have no idea if the letter writer is a gay man or a straight woman or a lesbian or non binary. I think it's mildly oversharing to talk about your own sex life to a stranger who just wants to write you a damn fic, not think about you having sex, whatever your orientation and gender. But in terms of someone having poor understanding of social context and norms, and no real big deal.

But mostly, I think *you* are being a wanker.