Now as I understand CYRT, this is not an issue for them because even when they hate a fic, they feel grateful for the person who made it - I don't feel the same, I don't see exchanges as they do but I vaguely get where they're coming from.
I mean, no. Finding something to praise is not about being an uncomplicated person who simply can always find something good. It's about practicing and utilizing a mindset in exchanges that is different from how I am when I'm just browsing AO3 (where I am so judgmental it'd make your hair fall out). It's also, crucially, not "pretending you love a gift you hate", it's saying something nice so you uphold your end of the social contract. If you are then besieged by treats from this person, you can always not comment on those! But I doubt this is as common a problem as you pretend.
Your hypothesis is essentially that refusing to comment and refusing gifts you hate (but that don't violate your DNWs or otherwise break rules of engagement) has some kind of corrective effect on badficcers. I think that's both naive and immature. There will always be badficcers doing exchanges. Rejecting gifts for being bad doesn't make anyone learn anything, it just creates an unpleasant and hostile environment. I think it's both unproductive and poor form, and people who do that, or who throw a fit in others' comments because their gift isn't as good as they'd like, are unsuited for exchanges and should see themselves out.
Re: Potentially Fresh Wank?
I mean, no. Finding something to praise is not about being an uncomplicated person who simply can always find something good. It's about practicing and utilizing a mindset in exchanges that is different from how I am when I'm just browsing AO3 (where I am so judgmental it'd make your hair fall out). It's also, crucially, not "pretending you love a gift you hate", it's saying something nice so you uphold your end of the social contract. If you are then besieged by treats from this person, you can always not comment on those! But I doubt this is as common a problem as you pretend.
Your hypothesis is essentially that refusing to comment and refusing gifts you hate (but that don't violate your DNWs or otherwise break rules of engagement) has some kind of corrective effect on badficcers. I think that's both naive and immature. There will always be badficcers doing exchanges. Rejecting gifts for being bad doesn't make anyone learn anything, it just creates an unpleasant and hostile environment. I think it's both unproductive and poor form, and people who do that, or who throw a fit in others' comments because their gift isn't as good as they'd like, are unsuited for exchanges and should see themselves out.