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Coal ruins exchanges around me - spitey spitey fic y'all. 

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Comments

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Is it just me, or is the middle one slightly wanky?

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

It's Renault fandom, that's a requirement for entry

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

LOL!! You know it, coalie!

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Their treatise on slash is hilarious and would be a great way to convince me to write gen for those requested characters if we matched.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

+1 million.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

However the essential thing is that the bottom/sub be older than the top/dom and physically smaller/shorter and weaker (yes, this includes dick size). The one exception is if the top has been shrunk or is a child (and will eventually grow bigger). The sub/bottom can be as feminine or masculine as you like, but the top/Dom must be masculine and not effeminate. Also, if hair/skin colour is mentioned, the top/Dom MUST be lighter than (or at least the same as) the sub/bottom. Facial hair (apart from light stubble) or heavy body hair on either partner is a no-no.

I thought it wasn't going to be that bad but wow. Wow! Wow.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

I, uh, skimmed that when I was doing my letter review because it was so long and now I uh, think I should dock points...

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

OMFG. This letter is the wildest I've seen so far this year. Some highlights:

-Just FYI, I subscribe absolutely to 'heteronormative dom/sub roles' and I also have certain types when it comes to my fictional men.

-General likes: All kinds of AUs, interesting twists on canon (except AUs that make canonically male characters female or canonically white characters non-white. But I DO want AUs that make canonically female characters male--like I said, I'm all about the slash ;)

-General DNWs: Modern Western genders, sexualities, (e.g. transsexual characters, etc.) and discussion thereof. Fictive/fantastic/historical/non-Western is fine, so long as it's not just a thin cloak for the former)

-Also, if hair/skin colour is mentioned, the top/Dom MUST be lighter than (or at least the same as) the sub/bottom. Facial hair (apart from light stubble) or heavy body hair on either partner is a no-no.

-No tops/doms consuming cum or getting cummed on tho, please.

-Mental illness(es), and doing interesting/scary/sexy things with them, not just having them be a diversity point to get pity for a character (WTF???)

-I'm down with mpreg up to and including childbirth (and water-breaking), but please avoid gross details of umbilical cords/placentas, etc.

and then:

-But there is some intersection of violence/injury and sex that I can tolerate, even enjoy. For instance if the Dom amputated the sub's limbs and came on the stumps, that would be hot. If he amputated, say, his nose or ears--squick. Having sex while one of the parties is bleeding out from mortal wounds=hot. Actual woundfucking or skull (i.e. eye-socket) fucking would be too far. If a sub were snuffed by being thrown into a giant blender or something=ick. But if he were snuffed by being forced down onto a cock as big as him=hot?

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

What the actual fly me to the moon fuck.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Coalie, that is the best comment in this entire post. No exceptions.

(Except for the one about the rabbits. I like rabbits).

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Holy shit! I'm actually grossed out by this person.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

This person will be so confused when they get only hand-holding and a light kiss the end.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

have they done yuletide before? are they trolling

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

From their letter: I'm very new to this whole exchange thing, so please forgive any egregious faux pas.

I guess being wanky now counts as a faux pas? Good to know!

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

I think they must be trolling. That DW has no content side from the letter and was just made, and the AO3 has the feeling of a shame sock.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

if the top has been shrunk or is a child

Hang on, are they saying that they're fine with the couple still having sex even if one gets turned into a literal child?

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently they're ok with toddlercon AUs/deaging

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

“and will eventually grow bigger” cracks me up. I’m imagining them lecturing their treatise on slash while holding some of those magic growing sponge capsules.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

holy hell, I could match this person

If I do, they're getting 1005 words of the gennest-ass gen that ever genned, probably with no dudes, and then I'm writing like ten smutty treats for people who aren't this person

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Can I also point out:

"foot fetish, armpit kink or any very specific fetish I'm not into (I'm sure there's a lot of fetishes out there I haven't heard of, so if in doubt, err on the side of caution, maybe? Just nothing too bizarre, please. You can always ask if you're not sure--I'm sure there's kinks out there I haven't heard of which I would very much like!)"

Does this tick the "Just ask me if you have any questions" bingo square?

Also... I'm not into feet, but that's hardly a bizarre fetish, that's like, the definition of fetish it's so common.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Lol you don't usually see this from someone enthusiastically talking about double amputation kink.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

It's full of perfectly fine stuff like this, which I think offsets the more questionable bits:

"Now, as you can no doubt tell from the request, I am one of those extremely rare birds who ships Laurie/Andrew as my exclusive OTP. First off, if you don't like Andrew/ Laurie as a pairing, please don't force yourself to write it. I will be perfectly content with gen :) Similarly, while I do enjoy my smut, I will be quite happy with something preslashy/PG-rated."

But for some reason, between the phrasing and the formatting, I too find I have a headache. And I love long letters normally! It does have some cuts in the dateview version though, so that's a plus.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, is anyone surprised that someone whose handle references C.S. Lewis is a raging bigot? The only shock to me is that they're into kinky slash, instead of being the usual uptight gen homophobe.

Also, "Miss Renault." Repeatedly. LOL

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, fuck you, Till We Have Faces is actually a great book /not straight

And that's a pretty huge generalization to make about Narnia fans.

Re: Letter 3T1L - Mary Renault book letters

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's more telling that she also requested Lovecraft with no acknowledgement that he was a racist bag of used fake dicks with unknown provenance.