It isn't an enforceable DNW in Yuletide, and you should probably do other exchanges if getting a gen ODAO would absolutely ruin your experience, but I think it's reasonable to want shipfic above everything else and to say as much in your letter, outside the DNW section. I think it's only good manners to honour such a preference and the vast majority of writers will be happy to do so regardless of their personal tastes.
Re: Your Yuletide sins